Sport and salad dressing

As those of you who were paying attention yesterday will remember, we are in the middle of a thunderous session of linguistics between, in the red corner, our language expert Dr Wordsmith and, in the blue corner, our learned readers with their many and varied inquiries. Seconds out – take it away, Doc!

Dear Dr Wordsmith, While we are on the subject of the pronunciation of foreign names, may I drag Anne Robinson into the conversation?

Dr Wordsmith writes: I was not aware that Anne Robinson was a foreign name.

Dear Dr Wordsmith, No, what I meant was that...

Dr Wordsmith writes: She, of course, may well have a British name and be foreign herself – or rather, probably alien and from another planetary system. If she is from another world, I can only say that in her short time on Earth she seems to have grasped few of the basic rules of human social behaviour and spends most of her time trying to revive the sordid and witless art of playground bullying as fast as the Government tries to stamp it out. But her name itself is not foreign.

Dear Dr Wordsmith, Quite so. What I wished to point out was that she seems to have difficulty in pronouncing foreign names correctly. Recently, for instance, while telling someone the name of the recent ruler of Albania, she said it was Enver Hoxha.

Dr Wordsmith writes: And so it was, as we all know.

Dear Dr Wordsmith, Yes, but as we all know, it is pronounced "Enver Hodjer". She, however, said "Enver Hox-ha".

Dr Wordsmith writes: Very gratifying. Still, perhaps that is how they pronounce it on Mars, or wherever she comes from.

Dear Dr Wordsmith, But does not the general standard of pronunciation of foreign names among the British depress you?

Dr Wordsmith writes: Not at all. It gets better all the time. Every time a foreign footballer comes to play here, we learn a little more about other people's pronunciation. From Ruud Gullit's name we learnt that a Dutch "G' is like a Scottish "ch". From Sven Goran himself we learn that a Swedish "G" is like a "Y", and that he is really called "Sven Yoran". Thanks to Thierry Henry, the British now know that a French "Th" is just a "T", and so on and so forth. If this were being taught to the British in school, they would refuse to learn it. Taught to them in a football context, and they lap it up.

Dear Dr Wordsmith, And what about Nancy dell'Olio?

Dr Wordsmith writes: I'm sorry?

Dear Dr Wordsmith, That is the name of Sven Goran Eriksson's Italian girlfriend. What do you think we can learn from her?

Dr Wordsmith writes: Well, if nothing else, that she goes very well with Lawrence Dallaglio.

Dear Dr Wordsmith, I'm sorry?

Dr Wordsmith writes: Lawrence Dallaglio is a British rugby player.

Dear Dr Wordsmith, Yes, I know that, but...

Dr Wordsmith writes: "Dallaglio" is the Italian for "with garlic". And "dell'Olio" is the Italian for "with oil". We only need someone whose name means "vinegar" in Italian and we are home and dry, with a lovely salad dressing!

Dear Dr Wordsmith, That's ridiculous. Nobody is called "vinegar"!

Dr Wordsmith writes: Wanna bet?

Dear Dr Wordsmith, Yeah!

Dr Wordsmith writes: Then you've lost, baby. In the 1950s and 1960s there was a very good jazz bass player in California called Leroy Vinnegar. Also, there was a very good alto saxophone player called Art Pepper. And they played together often. So, that's pepper and vinegar...

Dear Dr Wordsmith, You're not going to tell me that they played with people called Buddy Salt and Gary Oil and Jean-Luc Fines-Herbes...?

Dr Wordsmith writes: No. Though there was a pianist called Dill Jones...

Dear Dr Wordsmith, Meanwhile, you may wish to know that in our very own time there is a BBC radio DJ called Simon Mayo...

Dr Wordsmith writes: Mayo? Oh, please! I can't take any more of this!

I am afraid that Dr Wordsmith has suddenly had to depart. But he will be back soon. So keep those queries rolling in!