Olympic commentary highlights special

Forgotten to watch any of the Olympics so far? Tried to get it on video, but forgot to set the time? Didn't know they had even started? Fear not - today, to bring you up to date, I bring you the highlights of the Olympic commentary so far ...

Forgotten to watch any of the Olympics so far? Tried to get it on video, but forgot to set the time? Didn't know they had even started? Fear not - today, to bring you up to date, I bring you the highlights of the Olympic commentary so far ...

"So they're back home again where it all started."

"And a very moving moment it is ..."

"Flags of all nations ..."

"But it's all a bit of a mystery, as there were no witnesses to the supposed motor bike accident."

"Meanwhile, still in their training camp in Cyprus ..."

"We talked to him earlier."

"Four years of single-minded dedication."

"Thanks, Steve."

"The ancient home of the Games."

"... Lying third in the cross-country dressage ..."

"There goes Tim Henman!"

"Of course, he is one of the toughest customers in the welterweight division."

"John - you must be very disappointed not to make the semis."

"We have just heard there has been a disqualification in the Flying Dutchman class."

"He'll need to do better than this."

"In badminton, remember, you can only score if you are serving."

"She'll need to do a lot better than that."

"We were hoping to get a word from Tim Henman."

"So, finally, the track and field gets under way."

"This spectacular stadium, which is sadly not filled to capacity."

"I made that the Bulgarian's round."

"The opening throw for the women's shot put."

"This is the giant Romanian stepping up to the circle."

"More man than woman."

"More giant than man."

"God, did I really say that?"

"I was thinking out loud."

"I won't do that again."

"Now over to the equestrian centre."

"We've just heard that one of the horses has failed a drug test, but that's unconfirmed at present."

"Oh dear - that wasn't exactly the word I was hoping to get from Tim Henman."

"Sir Steve, what memories does this bring back?"

"She may have made her effort too early."

"Another gold for this incredible swimmer!"

"Of course, this is not really her favourite event."

"You must be incredibly disappointed to be knocked out by the powerful Mexican before you had swung a punch."

"She may have left her effort too late."

"He won't believe he's got gold till he sees it on the scoreboard!"

"Sir Steve, can you remember if you cried when you first got gold?"

"We've just heard that one of the British horses has entered a complaint of sexual harassment against a German horse, but that's unconfirmed at present."

"So tell us, Stacey, what goes through your mind when four years of dedicated hard work are thrown away in one moment of madness?"

"Unknown yesterday, a star today!"

"We're going to see if Sir Steve can get Matthew to cry."

"The powerful Lithuanian."

"The is her third Olympic appearance, and it's always been for different countries."

"But all British eyes will be on the yachting."

"OK, you can stop crying now."

"We've just heard that both medal winners have lodged appeals against each other."

"His best just wasn't good enough."

"But all British eyes will be on the marathon."

"Get him to stop him crying, will you?"

"We've just heard that as everyone has been disqualified, there is no gold medal winner."

"We'll be back later with all the latest action."

"So all British eyes will be on the late-night film on BBC2."