Miles Kington: The kitchen magic of Osama bin Laden

As Christmas gets nearer and nearer, like an out-of-control juggernaut lorry on the wrong side of the road, it's time to bring you the final round-up of Christmas books selected by my team of reviewers, experts and shoplifters.

Nigella! (Shrubbery Press, £19.99)

Many of you may already have bought this book under the impression that it has something to do with cooking. In which case, many of you will already have found out that it is a botanical work dedicated to the exploration of the Nigella plant family, which contains such things as "Love Lies Bleeding". It is a moot point whether it is dishonest to market a small, specialised plant book with a huge title like "Nigella!", and a picture of a kitchen on the front (admittedly with a small pot of Nigella on the window sill) but I suppose that if it gets people reading about botany instead of TV cookery, it is all to the good.

Lord of the Gas Rings (Wizard Books, £15)

This really is a cook book. Market research has tended to show that the average reader of JRR Tolkien's books is supposedly a 30-something living by himself or herself and not much given to cooking in his or her lonely bedsit. This is the cook book designed for that person.

Reply From the Grave, by Laurens van der Post (Tungsten Press, £25)

A recent biography of Laurens van der Post seems to prove that van der Post was a fantasist in the Jeffrey Archer class – indeed, far superior to Archer, because his web of fantasies and the extent of his invented life were not really discovered until after his death. Now comes the first rebuttal of this theory, a book supposedly written by Laurens van der Post himself on the other side, and transmitted to an earthly publisher. But is this just van der Post up to his old tricks again? Is the old charmer pulling the last fast one? Who knows? A fascinating read, with many details about encounters on the other side with the ghosts of Kalahari bushmen.

The Enigma Cookery Book, by Robert Harris (WarDiet Books, £19.39-45)

Ever wondered what the geniuses who cracked the Enigma Code fed their brains on at lunch time? Now Robert Harris has cracked the mysteries of Bletchley Park's wartime menus, all written in strangely faded purple ink, and has published for the first time the food secrets that defeated Hitler. Try the beetroot and corned beef fritters for a real treat.

Prince Charles's Good Pub Guide (Duchy Press, 10 gold sovereigns)

At last a pub guide which pays full attention to the architectural style, and doesn't go maundering on about the beer and food. Prince Charles has got it in for pubs which build modern extensions in what he calls "Neo-Public Convenience Style", and he's not much nicer about pubs which go in for what he calls "Neo-Heritage Style", with poncey conservatories, old wagon wheels lying up against the wall and fountains in the front room. Nor is he very keen on pubs which offer huge selections of pretend home-cooked food which actually come from big vans via the microwave, described in overgrown menus printed in what he calls "Neo Magna Carta style". To be honest, he doesn't like anything very much. A refreshingly blunt pub guide.

The Osama bin Laden Cave Cookbook, by Osama bin Laden (Taliban Press, US$40)

It's not easy on a chap when he's sitting in a cave, and winter is coming on fast, and suddenly a couple of hundred freedom fighters drop in demanding supper and all you've got is a few sacks of American food aid dropped in error on your front line. Also, to make things worse, it's Ramadan. Well, worry no more! This little volume, written from direct experience, tells you all you need to know about how to whip up a delicious little meal from unpromising beginnings. "The most crucial ingredient is a good set of candles," writes Mr bin Laden. "Even a dull cave supper can seem magical with the right lighting." An absorbing little volume.

Coming soon, more books such as 'The Ernest Shackleton Antarctic Cook Book', 'The Harry Potter Wizard Snack Guide', Jeffrey Archer's 'The Laurens van der Post I Knew', etc, etc.