I've got a little list

'Politically incorrect terms which have survived the arrival of political correctness: crazy paving; a lame excuse; dumb waiter; silly putty...'

Miles Kington
Wednesday 19 March 2003 20:00 EST
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Ten words used by the marketing people to mean "small" but which sound nicer than "small":

Regular

Standard

Individual

Self-contained

Portion-sized

Miniature

Exquisite

Hand-crafted

Designer

Replica

Ten saints whose names we recognise instantly but about whom we know nothing at all otherwise:

St-Tropez

St Moritz

St Bee

Santa Monica

St Neot

St Pancras

St Emilion

Santa Barbara

Saint Leger

San Pellegrino

Ten politically incorrect terms, titles or names which have miraculously survived the arrival of political correctness:

Crazy paving

A lame excuse

Loony tunes

Dumb waiter

Mad Max

Get Shorty

Fats Waller

The Ugly Sisters

The Ugly Duckling

Silly putty

Ten abstract qualities after which no perfume has ever been named:

Savagery

Intolerance

Incompatibility

Melancholy

Despondency

Ambivalence

Anathema

Desuetude

Pettiness

Amnesia

Ten people who, by dying young, can now never be thought of as old:

Sylvia Plath

Marc Bolan

John Lennon

Captain Scott

John F Kennedy

Marilyn Monroe

James Dean

Kathleen Ferrier

Rupert Brooke

Any of the Brontës

Ten people who, by dying old, can now never be thought of as young:

Queen Victoria

Charles Darwin

Ernest Hemingway

Victor Hugo

Laurence Olivier

Thora Hird

Mark Twain

Agatha Christie

Winston Churchill

WG Grace

Ten things that must be always carried by a jogger:

A sweatband

A comb

A packet of paper tissues

A personal stereo

A bottle of water

A mobile phone

A stopwatch

An anti-dog Mace spray

A spare shoelace

An organ donor card

Ten American words we like to use although we have no real idea what they mean:

Feisty

Heist

Schlepp

Ballpark

Bugbear

Raincheck

Finagle

Picayune

Chowder

Savvy

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