Eighty things you need to know
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Your support makes all the difference.Ten people named after money
Ten people named after money
Pat Cash
Dollar Brand
Penny Mortimer
Cesar Frank
Stirling Moss
Ezra Pound
Steve Punt
Mark Thomas
Nicol Williamson
Euro Geller
Ten geometric terms used in daily life
Point of no return
Learning curve
Attention span
Vicious circle
Line of least resistance
Square meal
Eccentric behaviour
Parallel universe
Global warming
Pyramid selling
Ten things we do only when we think we are totally unobserved
Pick our nose
Practise our imitation of Sean Connery
Inspect our own ear wax
Pick up money in the street
Spit
Read a Martin Amis book
Rehearse a dance step we haven't tried for 20 years
See if we can still make ourselves go cross-eyed
Belch
Pray
Ten things that Tony Blair really means when he says "y'know"
I know
You know
I don't know
You don't know
Nobody knows
You don't know, so I'll sound as if I do know
I wish it were true
I've said it so often I now believe it
If I say it often enough it will be true
Oh, look, isn't that somebody more important over there? - See you later...!
Ten things named after monarchs
Potatoes (King Edward)
Chair legs (Queen Anne)
Dogs (King Charles)
Wild carrots (Queen Anne's Lace)
Books (King James Bible)
American states (Virginia, Carolina)
Waterfalls (Victoria)
Quarries (King Solomon's Mines)
Arrivals (The Queen of Sheba)
More American states (Georgia, Louisiana etc)
Ten things it is best to do when you have the wind behind you
Light a cigarette
Fold a map
Spend a penny
Spit
Shout to someone ahead
Tie your tie
Trim your chest hair
Dispose of chewing gum
Inhale cocaine
Sail across the Atlantic
Ten phrases which you may need to use when you go to vote in the MEP elections today
'How many candidates can I vote for?"
"How many MEPs have we got now?"
"Who are they?"
"What have they been doing?"
"Where were they when I needed them?"
"Why are almost all the candidates men?"
"What do women know that I don't know?"
"Who do I vote for if I merely wish to register my displeasure at Mr Blair?"
"Who do I vote for if I want to get rid of Mr Blair, but can't see anyone else I want to replace him?"
"Who do I vote for if I just want to express my displeasure at George Galloway?"
"If I want to express my displeasure at the lot of them, can I just come in, hang around for a while and then leave without voting?"
Ten people who are named after things that you can eat, unless you are a vegetarian
Kevin Bacon
Sandra Bullock
Julian Bream
Richard Herring
David Hare
Deborah Bull
David Lamb
A C Grayling
Michael Fish
Alex Salmond
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