John Walsh: btw

Spare us any more politicians' rhapsodies about pop music. Only yesterday, The Independent remarked on the number of times a party leader has claimed to be a fan of some anarchic rock band, only to find themselves rejected by the musicians in question. Most recent was David Cameron, whose idiotic identification with "Eton Rifles" was laughed at by Paul Weller of The Jam. Now, in an unusual twist, a pop star tells us of a politician's endorsement. Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees has assured the press Gordon Brown claims their music is "absolutely timeless" and he listens to it "every day". Can it be that the PM says that to every beat combo he meets? Or is it that the Gibbs brothers' song titles resonate with his mood: "Tragedy," "Stayin' Alive" and (thinking of Cameron in the run-up to the Crewe and Nantwich by-election) "You Win Again"?

* A cruel practical joker seems to have infiltrated the Infrastructure Engineering Office of Xi'an City in China. The office was told to build a special path of raised-pattern paving, in order to guide blind people safely alongside Chang-an Avenue, a busy thoroughfare. The path is now in place but it's spectacularly dangerous – because it's laid out in a series of crazy-paving zig-zags. Visually challenged people, finding their way by touch, are obliged to perform a series of right-angle turns to avoid walking straight into the traffic. One onlooker said: "It's really dangerous, and sometimes it can even lead blind people onto the road." How do the infrastructure people defend their handiwork? "The footpath has a little curve in it," said a spokesman, with magnificent irrelevance.

* Disingenuous Excuse of the Week award goes to the heroically-named Jose Socrates, prime minister of Portugal. Five months ago, his government bowed to pressure and banned their countrymen from smoking in public places. On Monday, he was caught sparking up in the first-class compartment of a flight from Lisbon. Other passengers shopped him. Conservative opponents complained. And Socrates replied: "I didn't think I was breaking the law. I thought I could smoke. I always did before." You mean the law I changed actually applies to me too? Well I never.

* Lord knows what Colonel Chinstrap, the dipsomanic militiaman from the wartime radio serial ITMA, would say about it but a ruling has gone out to all coppers in the West Midlands: tuck the leather strap up inside your helmet, or else. The ruling apparently follows sightings of miscreant officers wearing helmets "inappropriately," so the strap dangles on the face rather than under the chin. Shocking, innit? "They seem to balance the chin-strap on their lower lip," reads a shocked entry on a police website, "I think they do it to make themselves look 'hard.' I really don't know what they'd do if someone wanted to talk to them." Without the restraining strap, some officers are now complaining, helmets are much more likely to fall off during an affray (and much easier to knock off if you're a Rangers fan.) And that wouldn't look very "hard," would it?