Millennials, it’s time to kick your ridiculous coffee habit – and here’s how

When I was a boy – back in the big-shoulder-padded, power-dressing, aspirational 80s – I was particularly fond of a TV ad for a smart instant coffee which was pitched at the yuppie I was destined to become.

In it, our young professional is hosting a dinner party, probably one in which the latest Sade compact disc is put on in the background. With the main course cleared away, rather than faff about with the kitchen-counter percolator – which would mean rummaging around an unknown cupboard for the filters, origami-ing one into the right cone shape, spooning in some (how much?) ground arabica, filling the reserve with cold water, and waiting for the contraption to heat it up and do its thing… – the host simply pops on the kettle, makes some theatrical “plob-plob-plob” noises and rustles up a round of instant. The boss and his wife will never tell the difference!

The coffee-drinking habits of young professionals have been in the firing line ever since. This week, millennials have been named as the biggest buyers of takeaway coffee, with the average 28-to-43-year-old spending £728 a year. And that, as that generation says, probably with an annoying inflection in their voice, is a lot.

But take it from an elder. If you consider your daily cup to be a lifestyle choice, an expression of all that you are, you could do a lot worse than – and I have a Gen X cultural reference brewing… – move to the dark-roast side. These days, instant coffee is more than just passably drinkable; sometimes, it’s better than the real thing.

And it’s not just the cost saving – though, for the same price as a cup and a half of dreck americano from an anonymous high-street chain, you can get an award-winning jar of granules that will last the average caffeine nut a full month. These days, your cut-above premium instant is likely to be made from barista-standard arabica (which give a light and fruity flavour that’s perfect for milkier drinks), not the lower-quality robusta beans, which go into (admittedly disgusting) Nescafe, because they’re cheaper and can withstand longer roasting to inject some flavour.

And this summer, you probably drank instant without realising. One of our high-street’s biggest chains recently confessed to using instant coffee, rather than freshly made espresso, in their frappes.

But there ought not to be any shame in drinking instant. There are dozens of decent premium ranges in supermarkets to choose from. (My current brew of choice is Bird & Wild's organic instant, at £7 a jar – because I’m worth it.)

You won’t read this on the chalkboard of any artisan kaffeehaus, but instant also has the smallest carbon footprint. The freeze-drying process uses fewer beans than cold-press or stovetop, so in that sense it’s the eco-minded option.

By boiling just enough water to serve yourself, from kitchen cupboard to cup, is more environmentally aware than Starbucks in the noughties, when management demanded every one of its UK branches to keep a cold tap running during opening times so that spoons could be rinsed (!), sending a reported 23 million litres of water down the drain every day.

By rights, instant chould carry, next to its FairTrade logo, a Greta Thunberg seal of eco approval.

Ah yes! The seal. For a generation of millennials hooked on all things ASMR, there’s mindful joy to be had from popping the pleasingly taut foil on a new jar of instant. (Inevitably, there are now hundreds of dedicated TikTok videos…)

When you let instant into your life, there’s no more aimless queuing in busy corporate coffee shops, no more not quite knowing where to put yourself once you’ve ordered. And you can start putting all the money you save towards a house deposit – or at least some smashed avocado.

Think of it as instant karma.