This Christmas is going to be an excruciating lesson in avoiding political debates at the dinner table

The festive season is a time for reconnecting with family and spreading good cheer. It’s also a time to bite your tongue when your grandparents make politically incorrect statements, or play referee to warring relatives who decide to go at it about Brexit between turkey servings.

With the recent election results and a polarised pre-Brexit climate, it can be challenging at the best of times to avoid clashing with those who have opposing political views to us. But add Christmas dinner with relatives – and a few glasses of mulled wine – into the mix, and things can get ugly.

My home county of Cumbria voted in favour of the Conservative Party in the recent 2017 and 2019 elections, which has caused a stir both locally and nationally. However, I haven’t been surrounded by the meticulously detailed news of Brexit, Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn, because I left the UK earlier this year to start my own business and relocate to southeast Asia.

The move enabled me to live in paradise while launching a business, but it also took me out of the polarising political climate of this past election. I’ve seen friends’ Facebook statuses and watched the news when I chose to, but it hasn’t consumed my life.

That doesn’t make me immune to family conflicts. According to last year’s study from onepoll.com, the average family will have at least one argument on Christmas Day. As for me, I’ll be flying home from tropical climates and bracing myself for not only the brisk cold weather but also a lengthy post-election results lecture.

My stepdad loves a good political rant. He is a salt-of-the-earth, kind-hearted man with a thinning silver hairline and a booming voice fit for the theatre. He’s the son of an advocate for the trade unions, so Labour runs in his blood. He valiantly worked for one British company for his entire career and was well-known among colleagues for giving anyone and everyone a lecture on the evil tyranny of Margaret Thatcher, or how companies are slowly but surely robbing their employees of the benefits that they deserve – like a liveable pension. For as long as I can remember, he has always been an outspoken advocate of the Labour Party – to the point where a couple of years ago, he accused me of being a “Tory” in front of everyone at a family gathering because I wanted to order an Uber to get home instead of paying double the price for a taxi.

Any major British political event in my family home results in both myself and my mum having to listen to a lengthy impassioned speech about how the Conservative government is out to ruin the working-class man. He should have gone into politics, but instead, he directs all of that passion and energy on the people around him. It can be exhausting to listen to when you’re a single-digit audience. You can’t appear disengaged for fear he might notice and then repeat himself, or worse – continue on even longer.

Putting political beliefs to one side, nobody likes being lectured – especially not at Christmas. So, if like me, you’d prefer not to get too involved with passionate partisan conversations or let the political climate ruin Christmas dinner, then try to work on how you react to something that triggers you. In my experience, responding in a calm, non-defensive manner can help prevent any major family clashes. You could also treat triggering moments as an opportunity to get an understanding of why the other person sees things that way. While it might be impossible to completely avoid conflict at Christmas, remaining calm and avoiding knee-jerk emotional responses will help get you through without the desire to make a dramatic exit before pudding is served.

Stephanie Conway is the founder of Symphony Marketing VA, and a digital nomad currently residing in southeast Asia