From Wetherspoons to Dominic Raab, I've picked out the winners and losers in the Brexit battle

In, out, in, out, shake it all about: Brexit, ladies and gentlemen, has officially become the hokey cokey.

Let’s go through the routine: knees bent? Check. Well, more than bent actually – the government is on theirs. Arms stretched? Check. Fully extended, hands cupped, desperately pleading for more time. Turn around? Check. Enough flip-flopping, bluster and back and forth to make us all nauseous. That’s what it’s all about!

Yet whilst the nation’s merry divorce dance drags into its 1,022nd day with still no end in sight, there is at least one thing we can ascertain: some of those involved have, from a reputational perspective, handled the whole thing better than others. In the fourth calendar year of our EU departure, here are my top four PR winners and losers from Brexit:

And one quick thought on our prime minister, who does not feature below. It is true that she hasn’t covered herself in glory with the debacle that is Brexit. But even her bitterest opponents will concede that she has found herself between a rock and a hard place.

Could she have handled the whole thing better? Yes. Has she demonstrated a real tenacity and resilience that has ensured a certain degree of public sympathy? Yes she has. So reputationally, she remains in limbo. We certainly can’t fault her efforts, it’s just the end result hasn’t come off. A bit like her dancing.

Winners

DUP: The DU-who? You may well have asked six weeks ago. But with the Irish backstop dominating the Brexit agenda, the 10-MP strong DUP found themselves centre-stage. The government lobbied hard to secure their support. Arlene Foster stood firm and, with plenty of chutzpah, declined. The result? Her party – which usually receives minimal mainstream media coverage at best – was propelled to the lofty heights of the political limelight.

Wetherspoon: Chairman Tim Martin, an outspoken Brexiteer, has had no qualms in nailing his colours to the mast – printing half a million pro-Brexit beer mats for the chain’s 875 UK pubs and replacing European beers and wines with British and non-EU counterparts. Agree or disagree with him, Martin has delivered a masterclass in how to generate headlines, demand attention and own the media agenda.

John Bercow: With all those about him losing their wits, the Speaker of the House’s exuberant efforts to maintain some sort of dignified decorum within the Commons have racked up millions of YouTube hits. Regularly bellowing out golden nuggets (“Calm yourself! You've got to try to learn to behave in a statesmanlike fashion!”) has earnt Bercow his own cult following. Americans love him. Europeans love him. Even Brits who can’t stand his pomp and pretentiousness secretly love him. Orderrr!

Neil Warnock: “I can’t wait to get out of [the EU], if I’m honest. I think we’ll be far better out of the bloody thing. To hell with the rest of the world!”. So proclaimed colourful Cardiff City manager Neil Warnock in a post-match press conference (no doubt much to the horror of his squirming press officer). A shrinking violet Warnock is not, and this latest entertaining outburst only went to affectionately reinforce his reputation as, well, Neil Warnock. Never change, Neil. Never change.

Losers

James Dyson: The darling of British innovation and business, Dyson proudly articulated his views that Britain would flourish after leaving the EU. Only for him to move his company’s corporate headquarters to Singapore once the possibility of a no deal Brexit grew. The timing could not have been worse and, irrespective of the reason Dyson really chose to relocate (supposedly nothing to do with Brexit), it smacked of hypocrisy. Dyson was immediately on the PR back foot and, amid a flurry of negative headlines, the battle was lost.

Lib Dems: You would have thought that, having essentially fallen into political obscurity, the Lib Dems would have pulled out all the stops to really cement their identity as the “stop-Brexit party”. Think again. First, party grandees Tim Farron and Sir Vince Cable missed a key Brexit vote in the Commons (Farron was predisposed giving a vitally important talk in Dorset on how he squares his evangelical Christian identity with being a liberal politician). Then poor old Vince fluffed his lines closing a Brexit speech and awkwardly blurted out “exotic spresm” instead of “erotic spasm”, much to the internet’s ridicule. Not that it much mattered – The Independent Group came along and pinched the middle ground anyway.

Dominic Raab: From a PR perspective, Raab has offered a masterclass on when to bullsh*t and when to not – just in all the wrong ways. The lowlight of his four-month stint as Brexit Secretary was his public admission that he “hadn't quite understood” how reliant UK trade in goods is on the Dover-Calais crossing. Whilst honesty can be a very powerful PR tool, in this instance it simply portrayed naivety and ignorance. His recent TV interview in which he strategically placed intellectual books either side of himself to appear “well-read” simply came across as cheap and self-promoting. Some media training required, Dominic.

HSBC: Describing the UK as “not an island” was never going to get off to a good start. How much was somebody paid to come up with that one? That was just the beginning. HSBC’s advertising campaign in early 2019 was understandably perceived as anti-Brexit and forcing a globalist message in the current climate didn’t go down well with a large proportion of the bank’s customers. Furthermore, the bank failed to anticipate the subsequent backlash, and then further insulted our intelligence by denying the adverts had anything to do with Brexit. Yes, their heart was in the right place, but the execution left a lot to be desired.