Billie Eilish says porn ‘destroyed’ her brain. As a sex worker, I have some thoughts

Billie Eilish is making headlines once again, and this time not for her music. In a recent interview on the Howard Stern show, the young superstar came forward said: “As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace. I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest.”

“I started watching porn when I was, like, 11,” she continued. “I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn.” She detailed how the “violent” and “abusive” content gave her nightmares and an unrealistic view of what sex was supposed to be.

While some people have come out in support of her anti-pornography stance, many actual sex workers like myself felt betrayed and misrepresented by her claims.

First things first: Who was allowing a child to watch pornography — least of all hardcore pornography — in her developmental years? To me, that sounds more like a parenting failure as opposed to an issue with adult content. Blame your parents for their lack of supervision, comprehensive sexual education, and parental controls on your computer before you blame an entire genre of media.

Further, to describe consensual and compensated work as violence against women and abuse dismisses women in the adult industry and BDSM sphere’s consent. To claim that we are abused, oppressed, or anything other than eager to participate infantilizes us. Adult industry workers aren’t always victims, despite how people view us.

Master Ruby Bridget, a professional dominatrix and fetish content creator, had this to say on Eilish’s comments. “[Eilish] is blaming an entire industry for her warped view of her own sexuality instead of engaging in constructive conversation.”

“There’s a conversation to be had about the relative accessibility of pornography for underage audiences,” Bridget continued. “There’s a conversation to be had about the necessity of comprehensive sex education for young people. But that’s not the conversation she’s enabling or calling for. Instead, she is demonizing the consenting adults who create this art of other adults. At the end of the day, that does nothing but make this industry more dangerous.”

Ruby is right: porn can be a form of art, of self-expression, and of sexual freedom. I can’t help but feel that it’s a double standard when Eilish is fine with being sexualized in the pages of Vogue, but can’t imagine women being fine with the same thing on PornHub.

It’s true that people can build unhealthy relationships with pornography. People can also develop an unhealthy relationship with food, alcohol, prescribed medication, other people, and cleaning. Porn itself isn’t the problem. But it’s also not for children. As a hardcore professional BDSM practitioner, I can understand where and how it would give Eilish’s young self nightmares. She was viewing content wholly inappropriate for her age.

But porn isn’t “fake” like Eilish implies — which echoes an age-old stereotype of the type of women in sex work . While she claims the industry reinforces unrealistic beauty standards, saying the way “vaginas look in porn is f***ing crazy… Women’s bodies don’t look like that. We don’t cum like that,” an entire branch of the adult industry begs to differ, from cam stars to financial dominatrixes and custom clip creators.

Luna, a streamer on Chaturbate, says, “It’s upsetting to hear that porn is ‘fake’ from someone who has never been a performer for a live porn site. I put emotions, love, sweat, and hard work into my live streams. Sometimes, even tears. Why? Because I’m a real person with real emotions. It’s why my fan base increases daily. Every single part of it is real.”

There are no middlemen and no pimps involved in this kind of sex work — women choose it for the financial and creative freedom it allows. Even in major industry shoots, there are standards for STD testing, written consent, and personal agency. Websites like IWantClips focus on self-filmed clips and videos, and creators receive their money directly.

If I could say anything to Billie Eilish, I’d let her know her comments weren’t the feminist statement she thinks they were. Rather, they sound like they came from someone completely unfamiliar with the back end of adult industry production. Her comments, made to such a large audience of young people, stigmatizes porn itself and the people who create it. Meanwhile, sex workers are dealing with banking discrimination, harassment, violence, and stigma every single day. All we ask is that people approach us and our work with an open mind.