Thank goodness Bake Off is over – this was the soggiest season yet

“Boring is too strong a word… but it’s on its way,” said veteran GBBO judge Paul Hollywood to Josh, one of this year’s finalists. He was talking about Josh’s showstopper, but he could well have been summarising this year’s finale.

The Great British Bake Off used to be appointment telly in my house, when I would get in the drinks and snacks for me and some mates to watch the contestants’ soggy bottoms and Hollywood’s handshakes every week. But that was years ago now – when “soggy bottom” still sounded reasonably amusing, and Hollywood wasn’t giving out handshakes to all and sundry. I’m afraid that, like the lamination on Matty’s Lardy Cake, the series seems to have lost its shine.

I mean, it comes to something when the season summary of a show’s grand finale is the most entertaining bit of the programme.

Personally, I miss Saku, who should have won because… well, mainly because I liked her the best... but when she exited the hallowed GBBO tent she seemed to take much of the fun with her.

Don’t get me wrong, the finalists, Matty, Josh and Dan, seemed like smashing blokes but I did feel a touch disheartened that we were left with three white, middle-class guys. We’ve become used to GBBO showcasing astonishing talent from the now national treasure Nadiya Hussain to my favourite ever contestant Rahul Mandal, and so this year the all-white male lineup felt regressive – and, like Dan’s lemon drizzle cake, what should have been the season’s crowning glory turned out to be disappointingly bland.

This year, I watched the series finale while cleaning out my bag... and the discovery of two long lost teaspoons gave me more excitement than the show’s climax. The big plot twist that underdog Matty took the trophy rather than favourite, Josh, was only enough for me to look up briefly from my work of wiping the mush of rotted pear from the lining of my handbag.

I know TV types think audiences like to see contestants “go on a journey” and Matty certainly did. After all, he’d never won a technical – even during the finale, he came last in that challenge – and his showstopper, an underwhelming tiered creation, was, as Hammond put it, “on the wonk.” But I couldn’t help but feel a sting of disappointment for poor old Josh who’d been consistently excellent throughout the series. To be fair, his showstopper wasn’t up to much – he’d produced far superior creations in previous weeks.

And then there’s Dan. Ah Dan. Dan who flailed for the entire programme and then had a right ‘mare with his macarons during the showstopper. Bless. He judged his own showstopper to be a “dog’s dinner” but, to be honest, he could have been talking about any of them.

Did this year’s finalists misinterpret the term “showstopper”? Is it me or were their cakes deeply underwhelming? Aren’t the showstoppers supposed to make us gasp with admiration at the contestants’ skill and creativity? Remember Peter’s Bonkers Bake Off Bubble Cake and Hermine’s Chocolate and Raspberry Mousse Jelly Cake from series 11? Now, that’s what I call a pair of showstoppers. Not this year’s lacklustre offerings that looked more show-flopper than showstopper.

Yes, I’m afraid, for me at least, the GBBO format’s slowly lost its magic. Even the introduction of TV’s infectiously effervescent troubleshooter Alison Hammond wasn’t enough to light up the dull tent. The irresistibly likeable Hammond seems to be brought in to revive every beloved TV show that’s on its last legs, but I think GBBO may be flatlining. Even her jovial responses to Noel Fielding’s gags seemed forced.

This year’s GBBO final was summed up by Matty while the audience was treated to a tedious couple of minutes watching the finalists nervously waiting for their Lardy Cakes to prove: “it’s painful,” he grimaced. And I think he spoke for the nation.