The Ashes row proves elite sport is a cutthroat affair – the Lord’s chaps should applaud the Aussies

I normally keep my cricketing opinions to myself, but there was an incident during the most recent Ashes Test that I feel I need to comment upon – and defend.

The incident in question involved the English wicketkeeper Jonny Bairstow, and it happened during the Australian Second Innings. With the Australians 170 runs ahead and one wicket down, Bairstow spied an opportunity. He had seemingly noticed that the Aussie batsman Marnus Labuschagne had developed a habit of creeping out his crease after the ball had passed him.

Was Labuschagne trying to gain an advantage? Sneak off for a run? Put one up on the opposition? No. But the rules of the game state that the batsman must remain in his crease until the ball is called dead. Does the batsman decide when the ball is dead? Or the wicketkeeper? Or the surrounding fielders? Once again, no. That is down to the umpire’s discretion.

So, when Labuschagne allowed the ball to sail through unchallenged, Bairstow did what any wily keeper would do and lobbed the ball back towards the stumps on the off chance that a lazy or careless Labushcagne had failed to return to his crease. Unfortunately for Bairstow, the ball missed the stumps, and in any case the batsman seemed to be behind the crease, but it was worth a shot.

Some might argue that Bairstow was acting cheekily, knowing that Labuschagne had assumed the ball was dead, and that Bairstow was taking advantage of a moment of lax concentration. But rules are rules, and it’s not Bairstow’s job to interpret them. That’s for the umpires. Bairstow’s job is to win the Ashes, or at least have a crack at it.

How would Bairstow’s teammates have reacted if he had returned to the dressing rooms at the end of the day, with Australia in a commanding lead, only to announce, “I could have had Labuschagne out you know, but I wasn’t sure how well it would have gone down with the opposition fans”? One can’t imagine Stuart Broad for instance, being too forgiving: “Oh well, you gave him the benefit of the doubt. You’ll always be remembered for that.”

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The truth is, elite sport is a cutthroat affair, and the Ashes seem to take that rivalry to a whole new level. “It’s the one-percenters!” the commentators like to spout, and whether that be a held catch, a heroic piece of fielding, or the presence of mind to notice a moment of laziness from an opposition player – every little helps.

Had Bairstow’s throw been accurate and Labuschagne been out of his crease, we can only speculate as to how the English crowd would have reacted. Cheers of approval for Bairstow, jeers for Labuschagne, and chants from the terraces of “Same old Aussie, always blinking.”

Because in test cricket – you can’t afford to blink, not even once. The mind conjures images of the Long Room at Lord’s as Labuschagne would have retired past the members, their faces full of joy and Pimms.

“Gotta stay awake old chap,” one old fella would offer. “Play to the umpire’s decision, what?” another might add. Then later as Bairstow passed by with his England teammates, the same members would be patting him on the back, applauding his quick thinking. “Lovely bit of business that” from one. “We’re here to win matches, not make friends” from another.

The prime minister, ever one for jumping aboard the Public Sentiment Bandwagon, might even offer a statement. “The English mentality,” he might say, “is one of a winning attitude. That mentality stood firm today, and I plan to run with it right into the next election.”

So, for any who claim Jonny Bairstow was acting against the spirit of the game, I say this: Bairstow is an elite athlete at the top of his game, and well aware of the rules of said game. It’s his job to do whatever he can within those rules to win that game. The umpires can decide whether those rules have been breached, but if they say a batsman is out – he’s out. That’s cricket.

Had Labuschagne been dismissed I, as an opposition supporter, would have to concede that he had been done over by a cleverer opponent and accept the umpire’s decision with grace and dignity. I can only hope the English fans and players would do the same if the tables were ever turned.

Host of the Broadcast and RTS-award-winning Channel 4 series ‘The Last Leg’, Adam Hills is one of the most popular comedians in the UK