British institutions have turned their back on my RAF husband who is living with chronic pain – only the US will help

Hello, my name is Nikita – you don’t know me and I’m not sure that I even know myself anymore. I’m a fighter, and I always have been – I’ve spent the last three years fighting the government to get my husband the care and support he needs after serving in Afghanistan. Frankly, I’m exhausted.

My husband, Luke, and I celebrated our wedding just a few years ago, when he was serving as an Royal Air Force (RAF) corporal in Camp Bastion in Afghanistan.

While everybody’s future is unknown, ours looked set to be a long and happy one, with my first born son on the way. But everyone in our family has been affected by the events that have since played out.

Afghan insurgents attacked Camp Bastion, and my husband was physically and mentally injured. After returning from a seven month tour, Luke was told to “man up”, and my family became isolated and forgotten about by the RAF and the government.

There are many days when my husband cannot move because of the relentless chronic pain. There are days when his post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) causes him to lose all control, to disappear into a world where I cannot join him. There are days when it’s all just too much for him, and those days have led to several suicide attempts.

For the past three years I have tirelessly campaigned for my husband to get the medical treatment he needs, which the Ministry of Defence (MoD) and NHS have continuously refused to give. As well as battling with PTSD, Luke is desperately seeking treatment to alleviate the constant pain he suffers, which is caused by severe lower disc degeneration.

While our country has let my husband down, in the US he could receive help for free. Luke has been accepted onto a stem cell clinical trial in the States. It offers my husband the chance to experience a relatively pain-free life where he will be able to run around, pick up and play with his three little boys. He deserves this chance.

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But while the trial is fully funded by orthopaedic pain specialists in the US, we do not have funding for flights or accommodation. We, as a family, are determined to raise the funds. I have even resorted to begging complete strangers.

It is not a case of no one helping or no one caring. There are, as I have found out, many good people who send their best wishes, moral support and, often, their own painful stories. These people, like me, have nothing else that they can afford to send, so they send what they can. It helps more than I can express to know that people are supporting my efforts and that I am a voice for many others who are unable to speak out themselves.

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As a family we have tried all avenues, desperate for assistance. This includes the NHS, the MoD, the Royal British Legion, Royal Air Force Benevolent Fund and Help for Heroes. We have been to each of them, more than once. They all have means to help but have chosen not to help. Each organisation gave a reason for our rejection and there are more than I can list in this article. The bottom line is that we feel very alone in this fight to save my husband’s life.

Because our government, the MoD and these military charities are not willing to put money into effectively treating our veterans’ ailments, it is the military families who are losing our loved ones far too often.

I don’t want to be one of those people. I do not want our three young sons to grow up without their dad. And so I continue to fight hard for what I believe the MoD and country owe my husband: the covenant, which is still nowhere to be found, that is supposed to protect our injured servicemen and women.

I am just like you, or at least I was: I never knew what I was capable of or how strong I could be until I was tested. But by giving up on love and what you believe to be right, you give up on yourself and you give up on life.

Nikita Dallison is raising funds for her family on GoFundMe