What Boris Johnson said on Afghanistan – and what he really meant

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What Boris Johnson said: Mr Speaker, I know that members across the House share my concern about the situation in Afghanistan, the issues it raises for our own security, and the fears of many remaining in that country – especially women and children.

What he really meant: I am just as surprised as you are to be here today.

What he said: It is absolutely right that we should come together for this debate.

What he meant: I realised that I couldn’t get out of it. So I am here to act as a kind of national scapegoat for a national humiliation. I will tough it out as best I can.

What he said: It is almost 20 years since the United States suffered the most catastrophic attack on its people since the Second World War, in which 67 British citizens also lost their lives, at the hands of murderous terrorist groups incubated in Afghanistan.

What he meant: It was right to go into Afghanistan, as nearly everyone agreed at the time.

What he said: I think it would be fair to say that the events in Afghanistan have unfolded and the collapse has been faster than I think even the Taliban themselves predicted.

What he meant: The war situation has developed not necessarily to Nato’s advantage.

What he said: What is not true is to say that the UK government was unprepared or did not foresee this, because it was certainly part of our planning. The very difficult logistical operation for the withdrawal of UK nationals has been under preparation for many months, and I can tell the House that the decision to commission the emergency handling centre at the airport took place two weeks ago.

What he meant: The UK government was unprepared and did not foresee this.

What he said: Whereas 20 years ago almost no girls went to school and women were banned from positions of governance, now 3.6 million girls have been in school this year alone, and women hold over a quarter of the seats in Afghanistan’s parliament.

What he meant: I once wrote a silly article mocking Tony Blair, saying that as a result of his intervention, “perhaps the place is now rife with feminism”. Now that is my main defence.

What he said: We must be honest and accept that huge difficulties were encountered at each turn and some of this progress is fragile.

What he meant: Most of what we achieved in the past two decades has been swept away as a result of decisions made in Washington.

What he said: I spoke this morning to Ambassador Sir Laurie Bristow as well as to Brigadier Dan Blanchford who is handling the evacuation. And it would be fair to say the situation has stabilised since the weekend but it remains precarious.

What he meant: I am not on holiday. I am working hard and I am well informed. And what I can tell you is that the situation is pretty hopeless.

What he said: At the moment it would be fair to say the Taliban are allowing that evacuation to go ahead. But the most important thing is that we get this done in as expeditious a fashion as we can, and that’s what we are doing.

What he meant: We are at the mercy of Afghanistan’s new rulers. We will do what we can.

What he said: The combat phase of our mission ended in 2014, when we brought the vast majority of our troops home and handed over responsibility for security to the Afghans.

What he meant: I inherited a doomed situation when I became prime minister.

What he said: And so when after two decades, the Americans prepared to take their long-predicted and well-trailed step of a final extraction of their forces, we looked at many options, including the potential for staying longer ourselves, finding new partners, or even increasing our presence.

What he meant: You might think I had a special relationship with Donald Trump, but he wouldn’t listen to me.

What he said: We came up against this hard reality: that since 2009, America has deployed 98 per cent of all weapons released from Nato aircraft in Afghanistan, and at the peak of the operation, when there were 132,000 troops on the ground, 90,000 of them were American. The west could not continue this US-led mission.

What he meant: The US’s Nato partners, including the UK, are an irrelevance. That is why Joe Biden didn’t bother to pick up the phone to any of us beforehand, although I will boast in a moment about being the first to speak to him afterwards.

What he said: I really think it is an illusion to believe that there is appetite amongst any of our partners for a continued military presence or for a military solution imposed by Nato in Afghanistan.

What he meant: Blaming other countries for their cowardice means that I can imply I would have wanted to stand by the Afghan people.

What he said: The idea ended with the combat mission in 2014 and I do not believe that today deploying tens of thousands of British troops to fight the Taliban is an option, no matter how sincerely people may advocate it, and I appreciate their sincerity, but I do not believe that is an option that would commend itself either to the British people or to this House.

What he meant: We will hear some stirring speeches from some of my military-minded colleagues, but be realistic.

What he said: We must deal with the position as it now is, accepting what we have achieved and what we have not achieved.

What he meant: It is what it is.

What he said: The government has been working around the clock to deal with the unfolding situation.

What he meant: As I say, we were taken completely by surprise.

What he said: We will not be sending people back to Afghanistan and nor by the way will we be allowing people to come from Afghanistan to this country in an indiscriminate way. We want to be generous but we must make sure we look after our own security.

What he meant: We want to sound generous, but not too generous. Thank you Emmanuel Macron for your comments about irregular migration, which made the British government look good.

What he said: I will chair a virtual meeting of the G7 in the coming days.

What he meant: More hand-wringing.

What he said: We will judge this regime based on the choices it makes – and by its actions rather than by its words.

What he meant: The Taliban will be trembling in their boots at that, you can be sure.

What he said: At this bleak turning point we must help the people of Afghanistan to choose the best of all their possible futures.

What he meant: From a distance of several thousand miles.

What he said: In the UN, the G7, in Nato, with friends and partners around the world, that is the critical task on which this government is now urgently engaged, and will be engaged in the days to come.

What he meant: We shall offer the Afghan people words, not actions.