Today’s Kentucky Derby will have protesters instead of spectators and I fear further tragedy in my hometown

If I had to pick a favorite song, it would be a toss-up between Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” and Stephen Foster’s “My Old Kentucky Home”. But Foster’s soaring Kentucky state anthem, played each year as the thoroughbreds parade to post at the Kentucky Derby, would win.

In a handful of notes, the song instantly floods me with memories of a bluegrass childhood of family love, luscious food and warm hospitality. That music is a siren song to Kentuckian sons and daughters like me. No matter how long we have been away from the southern state, it wills us home.

Despite Foster’s lyrics, the sun is not shining brightly on my old Kentucky home these days. Today's Kentucky Derby, already moved from its typical date on the first Saturday in May to Labor Day weekend due to Covid-19, will be run without spectators.

But the home of the race, Churchill Downs, will be far from calm. Downtown Louisville has been a cauldron of marches and unrest since May, following the deaths of George Floyd, who was killed by police during an arrest in Minneapolis, and unarmed EMT Breonna Taylor, who was shot by Louisville law-enforcement in her home during a no-knock warrant in March. These events sparked 100 days of protest in Louisville.

Crowds will be headed to the track today, when all eyes are on Louisville. The Courier-Journal reports that the Not F**cking Around Coalition, an armed Black militia that mustered in tactical gear and weapons in July, will arrive at Churchill Downs. A pro-Second Amendment group, called the Angry Vikings, will be gathering at Cox’s Park morning and driving in a caravan towards Downtown. Other groups like the Justice and Freedom Coalition, Until Freedom, and some local church marchers will be protesting nearby. I fear another tragedy and am praying that the groups can share their messages peacefully in my hometown – with no aggression or violence from protesters or police.

When I was a little girl, I witnessed demonstrators streaming along the interstate downtown waving an enormous upside-down American flag. Dad told me it meant “Americans in distress”. Then, it was a protest against race-integration busing. I saw that same flag, flipped over and waving outside my Brooklyn windows carried by marchers protesting the killing of George Floyd over 40 years later. America is in distress.

As Stephen Foster’s lyrics warn, hard times, have indeed come a knocking at the door. I always cry at Derby. It’s expected. It’s in the song. “Weep no more, my lady,” laments Foster. But in all the years that I have been singing it, I’m not sure there’s ever be so much to weep about, when Churchill Downs plays the song, preceded by a moment of silence.

This year, when they call the horses to post on Saturday, I will stand in my Brooklyn kitchen tuned to the race. I will raise a mint julep to my old Kentucky home. When the music begins, I will weep like always.

But this year, I will weep for George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. I will weep for barbecue joint owner David McAtee and photographer Tyler Gerth, both shot in Louisville. I will weep for the essential workers at risk from coronavirus and the families who have lost loved ones. For those who suffer prejudice. I will weep for black lives that matter and for the police that honorably protect and serve, shamed by the actions of a murderous few. I will weep for those who have lost jobs and businesses. For people who have lost hope, feel ignored, or left behind. I will weep for those who cling to the past and feel wronged and uncertain in the coming future. For dreams deferred and not dreamed at all. For injustice and pain. I will weep for America in distress. And I will pray that with all those converging on Churchill Downs, we won’t weep for any more loss on this September day.

And then after those two minutes of racing, as the song says, it’s time for all of us to weep no more. After Labor Day, we must come together and rise.