Welcome to my home town: Why Penrith is much more than a pit stop on the way to better things

During lockdown, many of us made the pilgrimage back to our family homes – and rediscovered them through fresh eyes. Part guide, part love letter, “Home towns” is a series in which we celebrate where we’re from.

When people hear that I’m from Penrith they often coo, “Oh, I’ve been there! We stopped to get petrol on our way to the Lake District/Edinburgh/Manchester/Glasgow!” It’s as if they think my hometown is just a sort of antechamber, a holding pen on the way to bigger and better things. I can’t say that I blame them.

Growing up queer in a northern town – and a traditionally Conservative northern town at that – was no cakewalk. When I think about the songs which played on repeat on my silver iPod Mini in those days, songs like Bronski Beat’s “Hometown Boy” and The Cure’s “In Between Days”, I realise you wouldn’t have to take a Freudian leap to deduce I was longing for something, somewhere, different. The town’s most famous ex-resident is probably Charlie Hunnam, who once described Penrith as “just about the worst place you could hope to live.” Hear, hear, chimed 15-year-old me.

Stuck in a stuffy school with the same “temporary” prefab classrooms that housed my parents’ classes almost three decades earlier, time seemed to move like treacle. The academic motto always struck me as particularly fitting: Semper Eadem, or “always the same”. And it has been, by and large. Penrith was granted its charter by Henry III in 1223, though its occupied history extends far further back. Growing up it seemed like the only truly interesting things that ever happened there came to pass hundreds of years ago, and locals still traded on stories of Wordsworth, who went to school in the town, and Richard III, who popped into Penrith Castle for a bit in 1471.

Although I’ll never regret my decision to leave (I jumped ship for Newcastle in 2012 to attend university, and almost a decade on remain smitten with my adopted home), the more comfortable I find myself in my own skin, I realise that the discomfort and sense of not belonging I felt growing up was never to do with Penrith, but to do with me. Coming back a happier, more self-assured person, I see much more clearly all the wonderful and weird things which make Penrith so special. Playing tour guide for various partners and friends over the last decade has only reinforced my belief that Penrith is a destination in its own right, not just a pit stop on the way to somewhere more vibrant.

Here’s how to make the most of a visit.

Being in the shadow of some of the greatest Great Outdoors the country has to offer, it might strike you as somewhat strange that my first recommendation is “sit in a dark room with a bunch of strangers” – but bear with me.

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Penrith’s Alhambra Cinema is a local treasure. Having opened in 1906 as a mixed venue showing mostly live performances, by the 1920s its main trade was in cinema and film projection. It has changed hands a few times since then (though rumours abound that some of the old custodians still roam the corridors), but has lost none of its Golden Age charm in the process. One of the last cinemas in the country to move away from 35mm film, the Alhambra went digital in 2012, and now shows everything from blockbusters to arthouse indie and international films. Tickets from £5.

Atop a sandstone hill on the northeast corner of town sits Penrith Beacon. Built in 1719 on a site where fires had been lit to warn of impending disaster or invasion since the late 1400s, the Beacon itself and the trek up to it make for a fantastic outing. On a clear day, views extend for miles past the town below over the Eden Valley to the northern reaches of the Lake District. Even if it’s foggy, 19th century carvings in the soft sandstone bricks of the Beacon itself showcase some of the coolest examples of vintage graffiti.

Steeped in folklore and enveloped by atmospheric mountains visible in just about every direction, Penrith – for me, at least – has always had an air of the mysterious.

Start your weird tour with a visit to the graveyard of St Andrew’s Church in the centre of town, where you’ll find the Giant’s Grave. Reputed to be that of the colossal Owain Cæsarius, an ancient (and likely mythological) King of Cumberland, an excavation of the site nevertheless has shown that there is indeed a skeleton bearing a sword buried here. The graveyard is also home to a weathered Saxon wheel cross, known as the Giant’s Thumb, dated to around 920 AD.

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Close to the Inglewood of Arthurian Legend, Penrith is also home to several henges, including one known locally as King Arthur’s Round Table. Long Meg and Her Daughters, a Bronze-Age monolith and standing stone circle, is located to the northeast of the town. Legend has it that Meg and her daughters were once a coven of witches, turned to stone by a Scottish wizard named Michael Scot (not that one). It is said that no one can count the circled stones, and if anyone can do so twice and get the same number each time, the curse will be lifted, and bad luck will befall the counter.

The Chopping Block in the New Squares development is a combination award-winning butchery-deli-cafe-bar. Committed to their sustainable ethos and serving really good grub, this is a must-lunch spot.

For a hearty, traditional meal, try Grants of Castlegate, situated just up from Penrith’s beautiful Market Square, or La Casita Tapas Bar, which is best enjoyed in a group with a big pitcher of sangria.

For an intimate date night in a relaxed bistro setting, go to Four & Twenty in the heart of town. Occupying a former bank, the space is bright and elegant, and the food is seasonal, unfussy and delicious.

If you like your pint with a side of history, your best bet is Dockray Hall. A recently revamped gastropub, it spent the previous century-and-a-half as The Gloucester Arms Inn. Named for Richard III, then Duke of Gloucester (who spent time living in the building while making renovations to neighbouring Penrith Castle), the establishment was originally built as a defensive pele tower alongside the main castle by Ralph Neville in around 1400. Tales of Medieval ghosts and secret underground passageways connecting the pub to the castle grounds are rife, and when you’re sat by the 600-year-old fireplace, surrounded by the original oak panelling, it’s easy to see why.

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Bringing a four-legged friend? Dockray Hall, The Agricultural Hotel, and The Clickham Inn (3.5 miles north of the town, but well worth the trip!) are all dog friendly.

If you fancy visiting the Lake District and avoiding the immense fees that coming with staying within the National Park boundary (or just want a reliable WiFi connection and phone signal in the evenings) Penrith is your ideal base.

Centrally, there is The Lounge – a bistro-bar with rooms above, serving food throughout the day and hosting live music at the weekends (don’t worry, the sleeping quarters are well soundproofed!). The town also has a wide range of traditional Victorian B&Bs and guest houses, along with a relatively new Premier Inn.

For somewhere a little more luxurious there’s North Lakes Hotel & Spa, a four-star hotel and popular wedding venue which also houses a spacious restaurant, gym and a spa with a swimming pool, steam room, and sauna.