I fly first class and make my kids fly economy – here’s why

My boys’ first plane ride is so far back in their memory bank that they don’t remember it – or a time when heading to the airport wasn’t routine. When we travel as a foursome, my husband and I usually fly first or business class and seat our children in economy. But I promise, it’s not as terrible as it sounds.

If you have visions of a haughty and heartless Cruella de Vil-esque parent banishing a terrified tot to the rear of the plane while swilling champagne and fancy snacks up front, I can assure you that’s far from the reality. Here’s how we travel and why it works for our family.

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My family’s decision to fly this way started with learning how best to leverage our preferred airline’s loyalty perks. I have elite status with Delta Air Lines, and work to make those benefits offset family travel costs. I get free upgrades and a certain number of companion certificates – a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a flight, which means tremendous savings – each year.

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I use my benefits strategically and am proud of how much money I save on airfares for family trips. I typically book one first-class seat and use a companion certificate to cover my husband’s airfare, while using miles earned from business travel and a co-branded airline credit card for my kids’ seats – in economy class. That’s four plane tickets for the price of one. Sure, I could use additional miles or pay cash to have my kids also sit in first class, but I don’t do that for several reasons.

My children are almost 13. They’re too short to get any real advantage from the extra legroom; the complimentary alcohol is wasted on them. They’ve been flying regularly since they were toddlers, but they were 10 the first time we split up the parents and the kids on a flight. We thoroughly explained the seating arrangements ahead of time. Besides one of them grumbling “that’s not fair” when he learnt that first class had more food options, they were unfazed. I refuse to feel guilty about enjoying more room to stretch out and a better snack than my kids on a flight I’m footing the bill for.

Celebrities like Robbie Williams, Gordon Ramsay and Kirstie Allsopp have made headlines in recent years by revealing they routinely seat their kids in economy while they fly in style. While all three undoubtedly outearn me, they’ve adopted this practice to raise children who don’t feel entitled to reap the benefits of something they didn’t earn. While I like to think I’d spring for first class for all if I had a celebrity paycheque, I respect the sentiment behind their decision.

Travel is a lovely way to strengthen family bonds, but the 24/7 togetherness in close quarters is... well, a lot of togetherness. We flew from Austin to Orlando last Christmas for eight magical days at Walt Disney World, and my husband and I had a bit of a “date night” vibe going on with our mimosas in first class. And no, it wasn’t at the expense of our kids, who were zoned out a few rows back.

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If you’re flying to spend the holidays with family, having some time and space for a few hours on a plane might help you prepare for the onslaught of people – and possible family drama – headed your way.

I’ve had a mixed bag of reactions from relatives, airline personnel and even total strangers when they found out about our two-tier travel system: everything from “You go, girl!” to some major side-eye.

“Aren’t you afraid that sends the message that you don’t value spending time with your kids?” one acquaintance asked me.

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That logic is nonsense. Our family trips are planned with my offspring’s enjoyment in mind. Sitting in a better aeroplane seat for a few hours doesn’t cancel that out. My kids know I enjoy spending time with them, but it’s also perfectly healthy for them to see that I put myself first sometimes.

My kids ride their bikes to the park and walk to school independently. There’s little difference between that and allowing them to sit a few rows away from me on a plane. If they were younger, less experienced travellers, or if this seating arrangement made them uncomfortable, I’d deserve to be vilified. But they don’t cause extra work for the flight attendants or other passengers; they know how to find their seats and can buckle in without help; they’ll sleep or pop in their earbuds and watch a movie on their phone. No one must “babysit” them because I’m not right there.

After a flight, my husband and I exit the plane and wait for our kids at the gate. Once we’re all together again, we continue our trip.

“How was first class, Mom? Did you enjoy your amazing seat?” asks one of my kids with a slight – and mostly good-natured – cheekiness.

“Sure did, son,” I respond, with zero shame in my game.