View from the sofa: ‘Celebrity Big Brother' needs a shot of some real sporting interest – not just another Sven-Goran Eriksson ex

Remember the good old days of Celebrity Big Brother? No, not when they had actual famous people – that is too far in the distant past. But when they used to enlist at least one fragile sports star to widen the viewing demographics and add a little nuance to the shrieking, drinking and look-at-me antics.

It’s a wonder the producers of this year’s show did not sign up someone from the world of sport. Because they have provided some televisual gold. Like two years ago, when boxer Audley Harrison met Kellie Maloney for the first time – “F****** hell, Frank!” – or Frankie Dettori glossing over his drug ban to indulge in some textbook room-working in 2013. Then there was Gareth Thomas’s stirring pep talk to his fellow housemates in 2012, which reduced at least two contestants to tears. And who could forget the consummate weirdo and friend of North Korea, Dennis Rodman?

It’s not that the well has run dry of former sportspeople eager to maintain their media profile. Only two months ago ITV’s jungle show had two of them: Kieron Dyer, the injury-prone former Newcastle and Queen’s Park Rangers midfielder, and Chris Eubank – himself a CBB alumnus.

But this year the closest we get to sport is Nancy Dell’Olio, who was once the girlfriend of the former England manager and serial chancer Sven Goran Eriksson. Heck, we’ve already had one of them on the show – remember Faria Alam?

But out of public interest – and the vain hope that Dell’Olio would announce to the world her engagement to Lawrence Dallaglio and therefore create the best double-barrelled name in history – we sat down to watch a bunch of people whose main claim to fame was that they had signed up to a reality show.

Also there was the voyeuristic hope that Dell’Olio would spill a few more beans about Eriksson’s private life – as if the “elevated shoes” revelation of Ulrika Jonsson’s nanny 13 years ago wasn’t enough.

But sadly and unsurprisingly, the vacuous socialite turned out to be nothing more than… well, a vacuous socialite. Fellow contestant Jeremy McConnell (a model who featured on an MTV reality show, apparently) said interacting with her was like “speaking to a brick wall”. Which, if you remember Eriksson’s press conferences as England, Manchester City or Leicester manager, makes you wonder how either of them stayed awake during pillow talk.

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So for the next edition of CBB, most likely this summer, our request is simple: push the boat out and get a sportsperson in. If anyone who retired last year is out of their budget – and let’s face it, Rio Ferdinand, Kobe Bryant, Paula Radcliffe and Mitchell Johnson ain’t going to be cheap – then spread the net wider. The Undertaker, from the world of professional wrestling, will have hung up his leotard by next summer. He would be a great addition, especially if he stays in character throughout the series.

Hell, get creative. Think laterally – find someone who, in a summer which includes the European Championship and the Olympics, will be waiting by the phone. Yes, get Adrian Chiles on, for goodness sake.