The Diary

Starting under holy orders

IRISH priests are familiar figures at English racecourses. Cheltenham would not be quite the Festival it is without its white-collar congregation. To appease the Lord's Day fraternity one priest, Father Donal Bambury, will be at Doncaster tomorrow, conducting a short service before the horses ride out at the first Sunday meeting. 'Abide with me' - if not a bet with me - will be sung by the rails.

Whatever your views on Sunday racing, you have to admit that Doncaster are laying on quite a party. Red Rum, Desert Orchid, soap stars and a Scud missile will all be there. Should be some race.

BRITAIN'S Olympic cyclists have a secret weapon. A bike with an 'advanced composite monocoque with minimum- drag aerodynamic cross-sections, formed with unidirectional and stitched high-strength carbon fibre in an epoxy resin matrix'. Fallen off yet? If it sounds like a monster from the pits of Formula One, you're on the right track, it has a similar pedigree. This turbo of the track comes from Lotus.

Gun-runners

WITH David Rocastle moving to Leeds United, an ex-Arsenal XI drawn exclusively from the Premier League ranks could compete comfortably in the top flight. In front of John Lukic (Leeds United) would be a flat back-four of Viv Anderson (Sheffield Wednesday), Chris Whyte (Leeds), Martin Keown (Everton) and Kenny Sansom (Coventry City).

The midfield has a championship-winning ring to it: Michael Thomas (Liverpool) and Kevin Richardson (Aston Villa) would link up with Rocastle, while up front the goals would come from Lee Chapman (Leeds) and Niall Quinn (Manchester City), with Brian Marwood (Sheffield United) supplying the crosses.

White sauce FROM red to white. White is supposed to symbolise goodness. Doves, veils, that sort of thing. But not in Barcelona where it just reminds football fans of the loathed Real Madrid. When Uefa, the game's governing body in Europe, asked Barca to wear a white strip, instead of their beloved red and blue, to prevent a colour clash with Sampdoria in the European Cup final at Wembley, officials of the fiercely proud Catalan club said no. Hence the bizarre orange-based collage, which was discarded at the final whistle.

Strangely, given the almost political implications of wearing white for a Barcelona fan, the Nou Camp tailors have now weaved a dash of white into next season's strip. This white saga could run and run.

Red admirables

FROM white to red. If you are flying over Northamptonshire this weekend and you see a red field, do not be alarmed. It's not on fire. It's a collection of 600 Ferraris gathered at Silverstone to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the Ferrari Owners' Club. The magical machines from Maranello are taking pride of place at the Christie's International Historic Festival, where other marques like Aston Martins, Jaguars, Austin Healeys, Lamborghinis and Maseratis will also be racing. Of all the celebrated cars on display, one group, a magnificent seven, will stand out. Only 36 of the V12 three-litre Ferrari 250 GTOs came out of Maranello and seven will be at Silverstone.

Arguably the most beautiful model in the world, its sleek design and concentrated power will render many speechless. Stirling Moss, well known at the sign of the prancing horse, will climb behind the wheel of one, owned by Pink Floyd's Nick Mason, in the GT event, where the Ferraris are up against a team of lightweight E-type Jaguars, including the ex-Dick Prothero's low-drag 'CUT 7'. Loads of recognisable men as well as marques, like the three former Ferrari Formula One world champions, Phil Hill, John Surtees, and Jody Scheckter. Entry: pounds 8- pounds 10 (children free) for a day of wonderful, noisy nostalgia.

Different tracks

BARCELONA is all about records. Warners has released 'Barcelona Gold' a lung-busting compilation dedicated to the lung-busting competitors. Madonna has submitted 'This Used To Be My Playground' for Daley Thompson, now in the commentary box. Keith Sweat has recorded 'Keep It Comin' ' for the British 4 x 400m relay squad. One of the baton-wielding quartet, Kriss Akabusi, is honoured with 'Old Soldier' by Marc Cohn.

The Damn Yankees, the musicians not the American one-lap relay squad, have recorded an anthem to the judoka - 'Don't Tread On Me'. Sergei Bubka, king of the pole-vaulters, is not forgotten, with 'Higher Baby' by DJ Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince. 'Texas Flyer' is obviously a tribute to Michael Johnson, the Dallas sprinter. Finally, Eric Clapton offers 'Wonderful Tonight' for Des Lynam.

GONE are the days when British visitors to Spain used to take their own baked beans - they now take vacuum-packed grass. Olympic horses get dope-tested so to ensure that nobody tampers with their feed, the British equestrian chiefs have flown out produce cut from uncontaminated pastures. Scythed. Sealed. Delivered.

Taking stock EVER wondered why the money markets go quiet? Why the FT-SE puts its feet up? Well, for the City kids it's usually because Harrods is having a sale or there is Test cricket at Lord's or Henley is on. Now there's another distraction - the Broadgate Olympics, which runs for the next fortnight in Exchange Square, London EC2. It's a sort of yuppiethon. Stockbrokers will be tightening their reserves in step aerobics sessions while someone in the City might at last achieve a successful floatation, if only on the sail simulator. The Broadgate development is used to whacky sports, like broomball, but the 'human showjumping challenge' probably takes the biscuit. No athletics events are scheduled. Any entries for the square mile?

Doing the honours

MANY entrants to the Peter Alliss limerick competition seem convinced that Prince Andrew was not at Muirfield to crown Nick Faldo Open champion but to measure up Alliss, the Beeb's voice of the fairways, for an even higher honour. Dennis King, from Dartford, Kent, finished a stroke clear of the chasing pack and wins a bottle of Aberlour Malt Whisky to put in his Auld Jug . . .

His words flow as if from a chalice

Should he not soon be Sir Peter Alliss

As we thrill to each birdie

It's high time we heard he

Is taking a trip to the Palace.

What rhymes with Neil Mallender, the Yorkshire-born bowler who is making his England Test debut at Headingley. Entries to Sports Diary Limerick, The Independent, 40 City Road, London EC1Y 2DB.

PS

THE shape of the mascot for the Atlanta Games will be revealed after the closing ceremony in Barcelona. 'It's plant, animal, man, thing, it's - all these things,' Billy Payne, president of the Atlanta Committee for the Olympic Games, explained. Thanks for clearing that one up, Billy.