Sport on TV: A dog's dinner instead of a national inquisition

THIS IS a very important issue, but the fans haven't been consulted," David Blatt, London branch chairman of the Football Supporters' Association, told Newsnight (BBC2) on Wednesday. "The fans will have to sit in the seats, pay the prices, eat the dogburgers and try to get back to Wembley Park station all at the same time. We should be involved in the decision- making process so that the stadium works for everyone, not just the architects and the Government."

Now this should have been enough to set any watching fans musing about the future of our showcase stadium, and about the politics and egos which are hampering the spending of pounds 120m of our money rebuilding it. It could have been a call to arms, to defend our rights as supporters and consumers, and rein in the moneymen. But instead, of course, you could only sit there and think... dogburgers?

Everyone knows that the allegedly cow-based products they sell around Wembley have always had a whiff of the canine about them. The fact that even the strays rooting in the litter refuse to touch them has long seemed suspicious. I may be a mangy, flea-ridden mongrel, they seem to be thinking, but hell, I'm not a cannibal.

But what Blatt's matter-of-fact manner almost seemed to be implying was that they actually advertise them as such. Honesty is a commendable trait, but there are limits. Whatever next? "What can I get you, mate?" "Err, dogburger please, extra onions. Cat kebab for the missus. And the little feller, he'll have a couple of deep-fried sparrows."

Still, dogburgers apart, Blatt talked more sense in his brief soundbite than everyone else in the 15-minute item put together, including Jeremy Paxman. The furore over the National Stadium was the lead, ahead of Northern Ireland and the riots in Seattle, which would have been fine, had the coverage actually done the story justice. Sadly, though, Paxman seems to grow more self-parodic by the week. Rather than seek patiently after truth, he adopted the standard bully-boy tactics, first on one of the architects responsible, and then, to no effect whatsoever, on the thoroughly un-bullyable Kate Hoey.

When the redevelopment of the most important stadium in Britain has descended into farce, no one wants to see the people in charge given an easy time. The current confusion is a mess which reflects no credit on any of those involved, from Ken Bates to Chris Smith. It serves no purpose, though, to ask a question and then barge into the answer a second later. It is worse still when the person doing the asking seems to be using aggression as a cover for their own lack of knowledge.

It was certainly an interesting contrast with Friday's programme, in which Paxman interviewed David Bowie, and spent the whole time planting kisses all over the Thin White Duke's thin white bottom. He ended the discussion on Wednesday with a sneering comment-cum-question to Hoey. "Would an observer be entitled to remark," he said, "that the big change that's come about here is that Tony Banks, who is a football fanatic, has been replaced by you, an athletics fanatic?"

Hoey's range of interests may be wider than Banks's, but surely the researchers briefing Paxman should know that she is a fairly devoted follower of the Arsenal, which is not quite the same as being a football fan, but near enough. If one of the students on University Challenge had said something half as silly, the burning blast of Paxo's scorn would have reduced them to tears.

It was left to a member of the audience on Question Time (BBC1) to ask the best question. The thrust of it was: would it really make sense to bodge a world-class football stadium for the new millennium on the vague off-chance that we might one day get to spend a fortnight hosting the Olympics?

The most enlightening interview of the week was the one which explained just how Eddie Irvine managed to miss out on the Formula One championship. Irvine was a guest on TFI Friday (C4), and he clearly wouldn't recognise a killer instinct if it, well, killed him.

Irvine admitted that it would have been good to win the title, but in truth, "I honestly don't see how life could be better." Just a few hours after his failure at Suzuka, he was out on the town in a big way, and Evans had the video to prove it. Irvine was one very drunk driver.

He was nursing a hangover on TFI too, and claimed to have had three and a half hours' sleep in two days. His girlfriend, he said, claimed that he had rung her at 4.30 the previous morning and said a few things which he would probably regret, if he could remember saying them, or even making the call.

No doubt about it, he must be the most laid-back sportsman anywhere. And laid-back wins you nothing these days. No doubt about that, either.