Jack's dressing-down

SPOTTED in the lobby of the England hotel on Thursday was a man in an outfit of such sartorial inelegance that even Dean Richards would have blushed. The man blushing in a blue cowboy shirt, a sheriff's badge and a pair of toy pistols turned out to be Jack Rowell. The England manager, it transpired, was the team's "Dick of the Day". This is a dubious honour received for dubious behaviour, bestowed daily on a member of the camp by Damian Hopley, who is known as "The Judge". Most of the team have managed to win the outfit during their month out here: Carling, Catt, Andrew and Rory Underwood, for instance, each took the award for losing their cool on an afternoon's go-karting when the rest of the squad insisted on trying to drive them off the track. Rowell tends to rise above such questionable behaviour so there was no hesitation in penalising him when he stood accused of the heinous crime of "being too tense at training".

MOST of the Welshmen cleared out of South Africa a fortnight ago, but there are a couple still here making the headlines. One is Pat van den Hauwe, the Millwall defender who arrived recently to play for Hellenic FC, and the other is Max Boyce who has been packing out theatres nationwide -indeed he has been providing more entertainment than his beloved rugby team managed. Boyce is still doing all his material about Welsh heroes of the past and not only do the South Africans know exactly who he is talking about, but, he says: "They have been the best crowds since my own heyday in the Seventies." Boyce is now well-used to explaining away the deficiencies of the Welsh team, but he has a real problem when asked his World Cup prediction. "I think," he says, with clear regret, "that England may just do it."

ALTHOUGH many teams have been defeated in the past three weeks, there has been only one real loser. Max Brito, the 24-year-old Ivory Coast wing paralysed in the match against Tonga, is now in intensive care in Bordeaux, his limbs still lifeless. The sport's reaction has seemed impressive. The All Blacks Sean Fitzpatrick and Ian Jones paid him a visit when he was in hospital in South Africa; letters of sympathy have arrived from most other teams; and two charity funds have been set up. But by last Wednesday, only 11 deposits, totalling little over pounds 100 had been paid into the Max Brito Fund, which was set up by Rugby World Cup. Anyone wishing to improve on this figure should send donations to the First National Bank, Commissioner St Branch, Johannesburg, branch no: 25:13:05, account no: 9000129801.

THE nail-biter at Newlands last Sunday was not the only tight finish Will Carling's father endured last Sunday. He spent the morning watching his other son, Marcus, captaining Gullivers, who were playing the local Milnerton RFC. Marcus Carling showed recognisable authority in his running and collected two tries to leave the tie at 20-20 with time running short. When Milnerton scored immediately before the whistle, father Carling was heard to say: "I hope Will's lot do a bit better." They duly did.

QUOTE of the week came from Andre Joubert when asked about the decompression treatment used for his hand: "It's the first time I have been down 40 metres without seeing any fish."