Sport on TV: Cluj stake their claim to revamp European football

The Champions' League is all about the big names, and this week has been no exception. At the Emirates, Porto brought on "The Hulk" but it passed off peacefully. He didn't even get booked for removing his shirt or shredding it to ribbons. Then Chelsea ventured into Transylvania to take on the team of a certain local count (Sky Sports Xtra, Wednesday).

Here was a side who had come from the nether regions of the Romanian third division to be crowned champions inside six years, funded by a wealthy benefactor called Arpad Paszkany. Somehow they had spirited the title away from Bucharest for the first time in 17 years. Roman Abramovich would be proud.

This was a big night for the local lord of the manor, his club's first home Champions' League game. The ground was packed to the rafters – some fans were hanging upside down from them. In their first European foray, CSF 1907 Cluj had gone to the Eternal City and had shocked Roma 2-1. Now they scented more blood – as if it held the secret of eternal life or something.

Luiz Felipe Scolari may have been a little confused by Cluj's mixture of Portuguese and Brazilian players wearing the national strip of Portugal. He became increasingly animated and looked more than ever like Gene Hackman stuck on the set of a grisly vampire movie. The flags waved all around like stained butchers' aprons as Juan "Draculio" Culio terrorised the visitors. Jeff Stelling said, "Chelsea have had a few scares, as you'd expect in Transylvania".

Then came the gory moment as Frankenstein's monster, Didier Drogba, went crashing to the ground and held the pose of complete agony, one arm raised aloft pleading for help, long after the director shouted "Cut!"

It was a masterful performance from one of the game's finest actors. Commentator Rob Hawthorne called it an "X-rated injury" but Drogba will return for the sequel, 'Cluj 2: Werewolves of London'.

One of BBC Radio 5 Live's men in Cluj remarked on what a huge amount of publicity Danny Cipriani was receiving, which was a trifle rich coming from someone involved in the football industry. Cipriani was making his comeback game for Wasps midweek at High Wycombe. It was not exactly Champions' League material.

Which is why Craig Doyle's 'Premiership Rugby Union' (ITV4, Sunday; ITV1, Tuesday) is such a welcome addition to the schedules. Rugby's answer to 'Match of the Day' allows those fans who follow the international game to delve deeper and see the thrills and skills of the Premiership.

But then you see Saracens' kicker Glen Jackson send another penalty sailing into a vast emptiness of the stand behind the goal at Vicarage Road, home of Sir Elton's Watford, and you can see how rugby could do with a few more big names.