Houllier kept problem secret
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Your support makes all the difference.Gerard Houllier knew for two months prior to his life saving heart surgery that something was wrong, but the Liverpool manager's commitment to Liverpool and the workload he was taking on – including a tiring transfer sortie into Europe – meant he decided to try to overcome the symptoms of exhaustion.
The 54-year-old Frenchman even played 90 minutes of football in France during this time, but his passion for Liverpool persuaded him to carry on as if things were normal.
"August and September were not good for me," he said. "Nobody knew that. As manager I did not want to show that there was something wrong. Everyone who knows me will tell you that I am a workaholic, but I was going through this spell when I was getting up and found myself reluctant to go into work, which is just not me.
"Once I got to the training ground or Anfield I was OK, but I had to force myself."
In his first interview since his operation which was "a huge success", Houllier told the Liverpool Echo that he had set himself three targets. The first was to qualify for the Champions' League. The second was to win the Charity Shield against Manchester United and the third was to claim the European Super Cup against Bayern Munich in Monaco.
"In Monaco we were in a nice hotel with a pool and a gym. I like swimming, but I didn't feel like using the pool. I felt something was wrong, but I did not show that to my players. If you show you are weak, the team will be weak. In my mind, I could not allow that to happen. I tried to appear strong on the outside, but inside it wasn't right."
Houllier was operated on after being taken ill during Liverpool's home Premiership draw with Leeds on 13 October.
"At half-time, I felt something was wrong with my chest," he said, but insisted on speaking to the players. "I wanted to keep the players' self-esteem up. I didn't want them to go out with a lack of confidence or with their minds not on the game."
When he arrived at the hospital, one of the country's leading heart specialists warned him of the seriousness of his condition. "Dr Rod Stables said to me: 'We will have to operate on you'. I didn't think twice. I said: 'Get it done. I've taken risks all my life,' But even then, I still somehow couldn't grasp just how serious things were. That changed when he said: 'Do you want to speak to some people?'
"I realise now what he was inferring. My wife, Isabelle, was with me and the words we exchanged are very personal."
Houllier was about to undergo six hours of surgery on his aorta – the vessel that carries blood from the heart – at Liverpool's Cardiothoracic Centre. "It turned out to be a lot more complicated. The leak had been happening for a long time.
"The people around me knew I had been very lucky. If I had felt those symptoms two hours after the game, I would have told myself again that I was just tired and almost certainly I would have gone to bed.
"The other thought was that 24 hours later we were flying to Kiev for a Champions' League game. If things had gone wrong when I was in the air...."
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