Crystal Palace vs Newcastle match report: Steve McClaren on the brink after five-goal thumping

Alan Pardew tried to hide the smile, but struggled. Newcastle United tried to look like a competent football team, but failed dismally.

The Crystal Palace manager insisted there was no “extra satisfaction” in beating his old club but, after a battering that could have been so much worse, the question is how much extra time the Newcastle manager, Steve McClaren, will get in a job that looks increasingly beyond him. The pressure is growing ahead of what is likely to be a January review at St James’ Park, after Newcastle sank back into the bottom three.

McClaren said he was calling his players in for an unscheduled training session today, partly as a gesture to the furious fans who travelled such a long way to see such a bad beating, mostly to try and “sort it out”.

“It’s not right, not good enough,” the Newcastle manager said as he admitted the fans are “probably not” still with the players after yesterday’s performance. The wonder, regardless of what they do in training, is whether this is actually terminal.

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The worst aspect for McClaren’s side was not even the dreadful scoreline. It was that Newcastle stepped out on to the pitch seemingly without any idea how to play against Pardew’s team. It was as if they had never before noticed that, yes, Palace have a bit of pace, so had absolutely no plan as to how to counter it.

Almost every time, a little flick over the top from Yohan Cabaye or the excellent Conor Wickham to Yannick Bolasie was enough to cause chaos. Palace didn’t even need to be that good, although that shouldn’t diminish some of their superb forward play.

The oddity was that it started with a shambolic piece of defending from the home side, as Newcastle took the lead after just 10 minutes. Daryl Janmaat was oddly allowed just to stroll through from the right completely unopposed and, with Damien Delaney keeping Papiss Cissé onside, the full-back casually chipped the ball over for the No 9 to head home easily.

That was as good as it got for Newcastle. Perhaps the worst thing they did was score as it spurred Palace into an instant response, Pardew’s side effectively winning the game with two goals in three minutes and immediately killing all the away side’s confidence. First, just four minutes after Cisse’s goal, James McArthur saw his effort go in off Paul Dummett’s back. Then, as the Newcastle defence hesitated moments later, Bolasie removed all doubt by finishing thunderously.

There was never any more doubt about who would be winning this game.

McClaren could barely explain what was going wrong.

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“We’re not handling adversity very well,” he said. “We got the first goal, looked bright, then a couple of mistakes, 3-1, never going to get back into game.”

Palace didn’t let them. Wilfried Zaha got that third with a volley that bounced over goalkeeper Rob Elliott’s head before half-time, and Bolasie then made it 4-1 with a close-range finish from a set-piece shortly after the break.

Palace spent the rest of the game queueing up to score until McArthur got his second from a narrow angle, and Pardew was only looking up.

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“We’ve put ourselves back amongst the Evertons and Tottenhams. That’s where we want to be,” he said.

In the bottom three isn’t where Newcastle want to be. And next up? Jürgen Klopp’s Liverpool.

“It might get tougher,” McClaren said. “But we’re up for the fight.”

That is as dubious as to whether he’ll still be in a job by January.

Crystal Palace: (4-2-3-1) Hennessey; Ward, Delaney, Dann, Souaré; McArthur, Cabaye (Lee, 73); Zaha (Jedinak, 66), Puncheon, Bolasie; Wickham (Bamford, 84).

Newcastle United: (4-2-3-1) Elliot; Janmaat, Mbemba, Coloccini, Dummett; Colback (De Jong, 69), Anita; Sissoko, Perez (Lascelles, 45), Wijnaldum (Gouffran, 69); Cissé.

Man of the match: Bolasie (Crystal Palace)

Match rating: 7/10