What hope have Manchester United got? They’re a team in a death spiral

As Erling Haaland blazed over from two yards out late in the first half of the Manchester derby, an opportunity with an xG (the metric used to express the likelihood of a goal being scored) of 0.89 – essentially unmissable – Pep Guardiola had finally lost his mind.

He is always on the precipice, but Haaland’s inexplicable profligacy tipped him over the edge. The fourth official took the brunt of the madcap Spaniard’s ire, as he got right in the face of the assistant referee. Thankfully, the official saw the funny side, even if only as a tactic to escape the Manchester City boss’s attention.

Yet there was no need for Guardiola to panic, no need to lose his composure. Not against this Manchester United.

Had you offered United supporters a 3-1 defeat to their all-conquering noisy neighbours before Sunday’s derby encounter, the majority would have taken it.

Almost a year to the day since a quivering United were mauled 7-0 by Liverpool at Anfield, their fans headed across the city fearing a similar outcome, such is the current sorry state of the fallen giants.

A wonder strike from Marcus Rashford threatened to force the well-rehearsed script through the shredder but the stunning bolt out of the blue proved to be the visitors’ only shot on target in the entire match, as Phil Foden’s brilliance and the customary Erling Haaland strike saw City complete the most expected turnaround in footballing history, taking their tally to 21 points achieved from losing positions in the Premier League this season.

If Jurgen Klopp dubbed his all-conquering Liverpool side of a few years ago “mentality monsters”, Erik ten Hag has created a group of mentality mice at Old Trafford. After the 23rd minute, United did not muster an effort at goal all match. Their three shots were the lowest number City have faced in a league match this season. Fewer even than when they played Premier League whipping boys Burnley and Sheffield United.

Conversely, City fired 18 shots in the opening 45 minutes of this game. Since Opta started recording this data in the 2003-04 season, this was the joint-most United have faced in the first half of a Premier League match.

The scoreline ensures United supporters can head to work in the morning without being the butt of the joke but, in the cold light of day, the manner of defeat was even more galling.

Ten Hag keeps turning to injuries as his go-to excuse. But to go over an hour of a match, regardless of the opponent, without even attempting to score is unforgivable, especially when you have spent over £400m since taking over as boss.

The most worrying element to United’s dizzying death spiral they find themselves in is that Ten Hag cannot see what the rest of us can.

“Football is not only about possession,” Ten Hag said after the match. “We scored a brilliant goal but also after that the first 20 minutes we had some opportunities to score again.

“I think we defended brilliantly out of possession but defining moments were not on our side. Rashford was in on another break, while (Alejandro) Garnacho was on another breakthrough. We were really close to getting a win or at least a draw here.

“When talking about being proactive, you can do that defending. For a long time, we were very proactive defending, keeping them out of our box and had opportunities on counter-attacks.”

If £1.7bn spent on players in the post-Sir Alex Ferguson era only gets you proactive defending, Ten Hag is a dead man walking.

While he has the best winning ratio of any United manager in the Premier League era, Ten Hag has the joint worst goals per game rate – a lowly 1.46 per cent, on par with Louis van Gaal – a turgid period that some supporters cannot bear to relive.

When you have the worst goals conceded ratio too, the Dutchman is running out of ways to persuade new owner Sir Jim Ratcliffe that he is the man to lead the Ineos revolution into a brighter future.

If the opposition goalkeeper can spend an hour without having to do what he is on the pitch for, what hope have United got?