Copa America 2019: The ballad of Little Onion – how Everton Soares is taking Brazil by storm

In Europe, there aren’t enough footballers named after cartoon characters. This is just basic statement of fact. There’s no Roadrunner, no Daffy Duck, no Les Pretend, no Butthead: the missed opportunities are endless.

It’s not that every player needs a cartoon alias; that would of course be absurd, not to mention utterly exhausting. But the odd one here or there wouldn’t go amiss. Lighten up, football. Stop taking yourself so seriously.

At which point we must make the journey to Brazil, home of a million gentle informalities and thus world headquarters for the nickname industry. And for reasons that will be become apparent in just a moment, we alight at Everton Soares, a powderkeg of a footballer who is taking the Copa America by storm.

Everton was Brazil’s best player against Peru last night. He was arguably their best player against Venezuela on Tuesday, too, despite only coming on in the second half. He has two goals in the competition and a legion of new fans. But they don’t chant his actual name when he scores.

Instead, they chant, “É Cebolinha!” – “It’s Little Onion!”

This, obviously, is brilliant. A little research reveals that Everton does indeed look a lot like Cebolinha, a character in a much-loved kids’ TV show. Mainly it’s that little tuft of hair, perched on top of his head like it was retreating to higher ground. Maybe Everton also mixes his Rs and Ls up in speech to hilarious effect.

More pertinently, there is just a lovely cartoon levity to the way the 23-year-old plays football, all jerky bursts of life and laugh-out-loud punchlines. It is this quality that has, in double-quick time, made him the chief attacking catalyst for this work-in-progress Brazil side.

There was a moment here, just after half-time, when Everton received the ball on the edge of the penalty box and was met by three Peru defenders. He paused, weighed up his options and kind of just... teleported through them. You half expected it to be accompanied by a ‘WHOOSH’ sound effect on the stadium PA. It was weird and genuinely funny.

By that point, Everton had already made his mark, both on the scoreboard – he fired home from the edge of the box to make it 3-0 after half an hour – and on the mental wellbeing of Peru’s Luis Advíncula, the poor soul tasked with marking him. The opening exchanges in their personal battle had the air of a prison hazing, and there was little let-up thereafter. The closest Advíncula got to his man all night was when he went full Vinnie Jones on him late on, earning a booking. Even then, Everton jumped back to his feet and almost scored from the resulting free-kick.

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Brazil desperately needed this kind of thing. With Neymar absent, the Seleção had been short on creativity against Bolivia and showed little improvement in the stalemate with Venezuela, long spells of possession rarely leavened by moments of individual inspiration. They managed just a single shot on target in Salvador, much to coach Tite’s dismay.

The lack of spark prompted a bout of hand-wringing in the local media. “Brazilian players have given up on trying to beat their markers, one on one,” lamented respected columnist Juca Kfouri in Folha de São Paulo. “We torture ourselves by playing bureaucratic football, with no audacity.”

Everton is a one-man solution to that problem, always willing to shoot from range or dribble past his man. There is no buck-passing, no hiding. It took him just four minutes to find the net in Brazil’s Group A opener, and after he nearly swung the Venezuela game in the Seleção’s favour (VAR denied him a superb assist), there had been growing clamour for his inclusion at Arena Corinthians.

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Tite gave the public what they wanted and was rewarded – not just with the goal, but with the crackle of anticipation that thrummed around the stadium every time Everton got the ball. Brazil, quite simply, look far more dangerous with him in the side. Only injury will prevent him starting the quarter-final; it is as if he has fast-forwarded through the long slog of getting to grips with international football in a week and a half.

Not that his impact will have come as a major surprise to those who have followed him at club level. He has been a sensation for Grêmio over the last couple of years, leapfrogging the much-touted Luan to become the key man for Renato Gaúcho, and playing a memorable role in the Tricolor’s 2017 Copa Libertadores success.

"Everton is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the best players in South America, and maybe even the world,” club president Romildo Bolzan said last year. “He is exceptional.”

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Predictably, he is also starting to attract interest from this side of the Atlantic: Manchester United have been linked in the past, and they are unlikely to be the only Premier League suitors if he continues to impress this summer. “I can easily see him playing in Europe,” said Brazil team-mate Filipe Luís last night. “He’s ready for it.”

There will be greater challenges ahead this summer, and no one thinks Everton is the finished product just yet. The Little Onion is still young and still has shallot to learn. But he has already made a remarkable impression at this tournament, jumpstarting Brazil’s campaign just when they needed it most.

As for Cebolinha himself, this Copa América has the air of a coming-out party. You get the impression a few more defenders will have tears in their eyes by the time he is done with it.