Goldie Lookin Chain on Newport County vs Spurs, Radja Nainggolan's smoking and what to expect at Rodney Parade

We got a sports village and a velodrome

Six drive-thru McDonalds for your journey home

From Newport Stadium to Rodney Parade

The Premier Inn where you probably stayed

Don’t have a Debenhams but we got TK Maxx

Once you've had ‘Port, you never goes backs

‘Newport State Of Mind (You’re Not From Newport)’, Goldie Lookin Chain (2010)

Newport County are in the fourth round of the FA Cup for the first time since 1979. On Saturday night, in front of a record crowd of 10,000, they host Tottenham Hotspur, who can expect something of a culture shock when they arrive in South Wales. The dressing rooms are among the smallest in English league football, and the pitch - which hosts two rugby teams as well as well as Newport - has seen better days.

But under the tutelage of Michael Flynn, the local manager who miraculously saved them from dropping out of the Football League last season, and is spearheading their charge for promotion this time, they’re confident. Three decades after going out of business in 1989, Newport County are back, and looking to move out of the shadow of their Welsh neighbours Cardiff and Swansea.

Perhaps the best-known export to come out of Newport is the Goldie Lookin Chain, the Welsh rap troupe who hit the big time in the mid-2000s with hits like ‘Half Man Half Machine’, ‘Your Mother’s Got A Penis’ and ‘Guns Don’t Kill People Rappers Do’, which reached No3 in the charts. Newport-born and raised, and lifelong fans of the club, the group even sponsored the club’s home strip during the 2004-05 season. We spoke to Billy Webb from the band about the Chain, the County, Radja Nainggolan's smoking habit, what Tottenham can expect at Rodney Parade on Saturday, and... vans.

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Hi, Billy. Will you be at the game?

Oh, I’ll be there. I’ve just been queueing to get a ticket this morning. It’s the biggest match in Newport for 30-40 years. I’m sure the rest of the boys will be able get some tickets from somewhere. You’d think we’d be able to pull some strings, wouldn’t you?

Well, you’d think so, as former sponsors.

The funny story is that they never ever wore the shirt. I think they were only drawn away or something. Little-known fact there. But the shirts exist. It probably made them more rare. I’ve got a couple in the attic, stashed away, for when I fall on hard times. Which could be pretty soon.

Would you say you’re the biggest cultural export to come out of Newport?

There’s a band called Skindred, who are pretty big in their own circles. But when people hear us, they think of Newport, which is great. We seem to be incestuously tied.

What can Tottenham expect on Saturday?

I don’t think Spurs know what’s going to hit them, to be honest. They’ve been out there playing Real Madrid, they’ve been out to Dortmund. But this is a bigger challenge than either of those games. This is a graveyard for Spurs’ ambitions. This is where it ends. Do you remember when Manchester United went to Galatasaray in 1993?

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‘Welcome To Hell’.

That’s it. ‘Welcome to Hell.’ This is going to be the equivalent. This is the Ali Sami Yen Stadium. This is Spurs’ Vietnam. Helicopter out of Saigon.

What makes it so hostile?

There’s no bowling-green pitch. There’s no lovely run of the ball. There’s no nice weather. You’re next to a filthy river in a place where it always rains and it’s windy. It’s going to be an ordeal for them. Think Plough Lane. Or the Old Den.

What about the Spurs fans? What sort of things can they do while they’re in town?

There’s plenty to see in Newport. We’ve got one of the finest castles in Europe. And it’s commonly recognised that London’s second only to Newport when it comes to river bridges. You want to have a look at our pedestrian bridges. And you call that a river, London? Generally, they’re going to have a glimpse into what we call civilisation.

When you look back at the club’s recent history, what sticks out most?

I remember going to their early matches when they reformed. They were basically playing park teams in Gloucestershire. Then more recently the Justin Edinburgh years, the Peter Beadle years. We don’t mention the Graham Westley years. Good luck to Barnet, that’s all I can say.

What about the current manager?

Flynny was in the year below me in school. Newport lad through and through. Sometimes we used to play in the same side. He probably learned everything he knows about football from me. I don’t think he’d admit that. He’s quite shy about it. Mentor, guru, I don’t know what you want to call it.

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Does a club like Newport have trouble attracting local support?

The thing about Newport is, they went out of business just about the time the Premier League took off. And all of a sudden, TV football became the god. So the task now for Newport is to try and reclaim those fans that they lost. But it’s changing. You see kids walking around now with Newport County tops, whereas ten years ago, you wouldn’t.

What are you guys working on at the moment?

We’ve got a new album out: ‘Fear Of A Welsh Planet’. We’ve done videos for about six of them. Some of them are top-notch. There’s a video on there that’s not really safe for work, which is about certain people. Sex people. There’s one about having a van. Do you know anyone with a van?

Yes.

Bet they’ve got a lot of friends.

They do!

See what I mean? If you want to get on in life, get a van. Then we’ve got a song about raving. And there’s a lovely song on there about vaping. Hardcore. Get on it. GLC. Twenty-eighteen. It’s ours.

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You've been around for almost two decades now. But there were those few years in about 2003-2005 when suddenly it all went crazy. What does that period mean to you now?

Well, I try and piece it together from things that are on the internet. You know when people get into their 70s and they get senile dementia, you know, like Mourinho’s got? [as Antonio Conte claimed this month] And they bring out the memory tapes, and pin up pictures from their youth? It’s a bit like that. Someone gave me a book a couple of years ago with a load of press cuttings. Well, I don’t remember half of it. But I’m in the photos, and there’s some comments that are by my name. A great time. It nearly killed a few of us.

Literally?

Yeah, nearly killed a couple of us. People have really physically and mentally damaged themselves. Hatsy - 2 Hats - had pretty bad sciatica. He could hardly walk, he was self-medicating for years. We had a chiropractor in one day, because we were smashing ourselves up so badly, and we had all these hairline fractures in our legs from jumping up and down. But ultimately, we’re too hard to die. Mike Balls was at death’s door, but he didn’t fancy it.

What does 2018 hold for GLC?

For me personally, I’ve got to stop having kids. I’ve got eight now. There’s too many people in the world as it is. For the Chain, there’s a massive show in Newport on the 24th February in the Neon, where we did our first ever gig. Still a few tickets available, and every ticket is a golden circle ticket. We don’t do two-tier tickets. We’re not The Killers.

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How important is football to the band?

Apart from music, football is the common denominator. Half the band don’t know what it is. Half of us, you’ve almost got to wrestle us away from football to do the music. I played a bit when I was younger for Newport Schools. I basically followed the George Best model, only instead of doing it at 27, I gave up when I was 15. I was probably one of the best players in the world at six. And then it went steadily downhill until I sacked it all off for drink.

All the more spectacular then, in a way.

Exactly. I had other fish to fry. The life of a footballer. God, how boring is it? They’re just sat around playing Fifa. It’s like going on tour, without the fun. “What are you going to do after the game?” “Phwoar, I was thinking about putting some flip-flops on and getting in an ice bath.” What’s all that about? Wayne Rooney used to have a cheeky fag, and he’s like an outcast. That [Radja] Nainggolan can’t play for Belgium because he has fags. Socrates used to have 40 a day, and he was a doctor. The world’s gone mad.

So you’re happy you chose music?

Oh, massively. The thing is, see: there’s plenty of other people that can play for Newport County. But it was only us who could have done GLC. Call it a calling. Call it what you like. It just needed to be done.