Football Diary: Ticker tape farewell

THE Orient Excess is facing derailment. The London club have asked their fans to desist from greeting the team at away games with a ticker-tape welcome of loo rolls, till rolls and other shredded paper. The O's travelling support have a penchant for stopping at service stations and piling into their cars bootloads of free literature (maps, menus, local-info pamphlets, etc).

They then spend the rest of the journey tearing these into small pieces and stuffing them into plastic bags. One ardent admirer took a bulging binliner through Chester's turnstiles two weeks ago. When the O's step out on foreign fields the reception from the 300-odd followers is uplifting - and much needed given the team's travails on their travels.

But this wall of paper, which resembles the work of an Andrex pup on acid, has upset a few clubs, who have contacted Brisbane Road's big-wigs appealing for a ceasefire because of the ensuing mess. Orient, while welcoming the 'tremendous' support, passed on this plea last Saturday. Today's fixture at Hull City represents the perfect litmus-paper test on how successful the club's request will be. O's fans like Boothferry Park - it backs on to a supermarket.

MANCHESTER UNITED'S players were asked by the club programme to nominate their 'hopes for 1993'. Their desires were revealing. Paul Ince ambitiously longed for 'two weeks off at Christmas' while Steve Bruce opted for 'a better April than last year' - one wish that could come true.

United's foreigners had wider horizons: Andrei Kanchelskis was particularly maganimous, craving 'a season free from injury for all my team-mates' while Peter Schmeichel mixed the individual with the collective, aspiring to 'continued health, happiness and the League title'. But the most unrestrained field of vision of them all - away from the preoccupation with medals and medicals - came from the Parisian poet, Eric Cantona, whose hope for 1993 was, simply, 'that the World can start to resolve its problems'.

THE Welsh National Opera have come to the aid of Arsenal. Which is nice because the Gunners have struggled to record the right scores recently. According to the WNO, their latest production is 'Verdi's stunning treatment of Shakespeare's tragedy Macbeth. We present a new arrangement of the score by David Seaman, performed by a chamber group'. Arsenal fans will be impressed if their goalkeeper really can arrange the score. It's normally left to Ian Wright.

DID anyone spot the Newcastle United blooper on 'It'll Be Alright On The Night' last Saturday? It might have been all right on the night when Denis Norden's collection of collapsing sets and giggling thespians was first screened but to repeat the line about Newcastle's inability to score seems a touch dated. Kevin Keegan's side are the second most prolific in England (after the team chasing them in the First Division, Tranmere Rovers). If Peacock, Kelly et al produce three more at home to Peterborough today they will have reached a half-century for the League season (and Keegan is still talking about signing a pounds 3m goalscorer]).

THE bottle of Aberlour Malt Whisky for alternative stat of the week goes to Mark Alston, of Hull, for the following . . .

'On Saturday all four English divisions and the Scottish Cup third round saw one player with the name of a colour score:

White, of Manchester City (v Chelsea, Premier League);

White, of Swindon Town (v Oxford United, First Division);

Brown, of Exeter City (v Wigan Athletic, Second Division);

Lemon, of Chesterfield (v Crewe Alexandra, Third Division);

Cherry, of St Johnstone (Forfar Athletic, Scottish Cup third round).'

The teams with colour had all the glory - they won. All freak facts to Football Diary, The Independent, 40 City Road, London EC1Y 2DB (fax: 071-956-1894).