Ashes 2019: Insatiable Steve Smith moves into Don Bradman territory with magnificent double hundred

There once was an ideas man called AE Stoddart. One Tuesday in August 1886, he went out drinking and carousing all night, in the morning heading straight to the Hampstead Cricket Club in north-west London. Without so much as a wink of sleep, our man was ready to play. Opening the batting, he walked off six hours and ten minutes later with 485 to his name: a world record. When that was done, he set off across the road to the lawn tennis club for five sets before heading back out to the theatre, then the dancefloor, finally turning in at 3am. Two years later, he was playing for England, as he did in rugby – captaining both, including on two Ashes tours. The vignette was forever used as a microcosm of his life, decades later Wisden Cricket Monthly describing him, rather perfectly, with a single word: inexhaustible.

Granted, SPD Smith doesn’t exactly carry the reputation of a bon vivant, nor does he share nocturnal predilections of Stoddart – notwithstanding the fact that he’s talked about not being able to sleep during Test Matches. But his ferocious appetite, at the crease, at least, is just the same. Across his mighty double ton, this Australian artist, which really is what has morphed into across these four innings, has ensured – insisted even – that England can’t win this Test.

To the extent that it was a vicious bouncer that ruled him out of the Third Test, Smith was asked to prove himself again after the Archer intervention at Lord’s. The crowd’s response said it all on the opening morning when England’s new man set up to commence the first interaction between the pair since the delivery that bit his neck so dramatically. While Smith systematically sucked the oxygen out of that and subsequent contests the way he does so consistently, it never changed his disposition. The quirks and ticks and waves that in the pre-Sandpaper era would come out once a series were now a fixture of every over, until he was done.

Take when he was on 186, by this stage having faced 300 deliveries. With Craig Overton bowling with a packed offside field, Smith was followed him out wide to greet each ball from a foot outside the off stump. Whenever he didn’t execute the exact scoring shot he wanted, he was berating himself openly. When on 186!

As the definitive Australian commentator Jim Maxwell observed on Test Match Special, he was still replaying every ball after the fact; never satisfied. When Jack Leach returned, the spinner who had caused him more trouble than any other England bowler, and he went inside-out over cover for six. The double ton followed with a tuck off Stuart Broad. He responded simply, with two straight arms aloft.

It’s our duty after a performance like that to indulge in some of the numbers. The rawest of all is that Smith’s batting average is now on the cusp of 65. He has 589 runs in four innings so far in this Ashes series – three fewer than would have been the case – averaging 147.25 per dismissal. He has spent 1423 minutes in the middle, just short of 24 hours. He now joins Don Bradman and Steve Waugh with more Ashes tons in England than any Englishman.

All of this is absurd, as is the fact that since his wondrous run began, at The Oval in August 2013, he has made all of his 26 tons in 99 attempts. It took Bradman 69 hits and Sachin Tendulkar 138 to reach that mark, those either side of him. Smith’s average in this period is 73.4. He is now only 385 runs short of The Don’s gold-standard haul of 974 during the 1930 Ashes. If he gets three more opportunities, has there ever been a better chance for it to go?

During the first of Smith’s trilogy of Ashes double-centuries four years ago, he had Chris Rogers to ride shotgun for the most part of a dead Lord’s track. In Perth in 2017, he cried in the dressing rooms when Australia won the Test, so relieved he was to have led his side to victory against England at home. But this is more important than both, giving Tim Paine’s still-sketchy side the chance to still fly out of this country with the prize they value most.

As Smith goes on, it is certain it will be said his technique will not stand up as he reaches his mid-30s. Others might look at his innings here and insist that he should have been out a couple of times and conclude therefore that lavish praise should be parked. But where is the fun in that? Right here, we have a series that was set to be defined by one of three people: Smith, Archer or Ben Stokes. While the Australian may have been missing in Leeds last week, he’s in the middle of stitching together a performance that will be celebrated by people who love our game for generations. May he continue to be inexhaustible for a long time yet.