At the end of the first lap, I wasn't able to see anything at all. Visibility was nil

I was extremely disappointed with my performance in Spain - and a little bit cross. The car had been so brilliant during the warm-up, when it was wet. But between that 30-minute practice session on Sunday morning and the race itself, the conditions deteriorated considerably.

The set-up, which had worked so well on my Rothmans-Williams-Renault in the morning, made it almost impossible to stay on the track, and eventually I didn't. Twice I left the road before going off for good, and I've got no one to blame but myself. I can only put it down to experience.

I pride myself on being able to drive in all conditions. In Monaco I was the rain master, but in Spain I was the spin master. A good opportunity to extend my lead in the championship was lost.

While sitting on the grid, I made my feelings known to the team that the race should start under the safety car, a situation which would at least get the race under way while we cruised round behind the official car.

The conditions were extremely hazardous and the problem was that there was no let up. It's difficult to know what to do in a situation like that. You can't run an entire grand prix under the control of the safety car - the race has to start sometime. But when? If anything, the rain came down even harder not long after the start.

I got off the line OK, but then I let the engine revs drop too much. I didn't get enough acceleration and two cars went past me. I was in trouble from then on.

At the end of the first lap, I wasn't able to see anything at all. As we went down the main straight, I couldn't see the car in front, I couldn't see the car behind and I didn't see any yellow flags warning that there was trouble ahead.

I suddenly noticed a car parked on the right-hand side of the track, and moments later, I saw a couple of cars on the left with marshals working on them. When I reached that point, I was no more than 100 yards away from the hazard.

At the speeds we were doing, visibility was more or less nil. Three laps into the race, I had already thrown away two of the rip-offs from my visor because of the sheer quantity of water that was getting in everywhere and making it impossible to see. The conditions on Sunday were as bad as anything I've driven in. But by this stage, I was simply struggling to keep the car on the road.

I had two or three incidents where I more or less lost my braking point going into a corner. The rear of the car locked up and I slid on to the gravel trap. On two occasions I managed to get away with it. I was not so lucky on the third.

Coming into the pit straight, I had started to accelerate when I just lost it. It's quite quick at that point - even in the rain - and I found myself heading towards the same place where Heinz-Harald Frentzen suffered a massive accident during the warm-up.

I was bracing myself for a hefty impact with the concrete wall, but luckily the car didn't go in that hard. Even so, there was no way I could continue.

In some ways, I was quite relieved to get out of the car because of the treacherous conditions. But deep down, I was very disappointed not to have been competitive, particularly after the way things had gone during practice.

I was really pleased with our progress during the weekend, and all the signs were good. Barcelona was a circuit which really gave us a chance to exploit the potential of the car and I had quite a healthy advantage.

Looking back on it now, my performance in the warm-up made me believe I had everything right for the race. However, it became rapidly apparent in the first few laps that conditions were appreciably worse and the car had not been adapted enough for these conditions. It was like driving through a three-mile long car wash.

The rain was falling as hard as it could, and even 20 cars going around the track weren't clearing any of it away. Visibility was diabolical.

There's no point in getting upset about it now: it's over. The most crucial fact is that I've posted two retirements in a row and that has been a setback to my championship attack. I still have a 17-point margin as we head towards the half-way point of the 16-race season.

After Jacques Villeneuve, my team-mate, had an engine failure during qualifying, I was asked by the press about Renault's performance. I didn't deny that the Rothmans-Williams-Renault team were concerned about the questions of reliability and performance. Naturally, everyone is very concerned about that.

Renault is well aware of the situation and is fighting hard to give us some more performance, particularly for the next race in Canada. I have every confidence in them being able to step up to the challenge.

Montreal is a track where horsepower really counts, even more so this year because they have removed one of the chicanes, and that will make the straight even longer for 1996, but returns the circuit to its pre- 1994 layout which will benefit the most powerful cars.

Jacques finished third on Sunday and I'm sure he'll be on peak form in Montreal for his home race. I've never won the Canadian Grand Prix, but this year I will be looking to set that right.

Copyright Damon Hill Racing