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'You are through collecting teeth': Girl's passive aggressive note to tooth fairy is pretty adorable

'Don't bother to write back'

Christopher Hooton
Monday 15 December 2014 11:58 EST
Comments
(Jennifer E./judokitten)

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The tooth fairy is pretty creepy when you think about it, sneaking into your room, taking your enamel and leaving payment on your nightstand like some kind of dental hooker.

Be that as it may, nine-year-old Jennifer was incensed when she didn't arrive to claim one of her molars, and went on a passive aggressive rant, rebuking the tooth fairy, or "T.F.", at every single turn.

The letter reads (spelling and capitalisation retained for cuteness):

"(NOT Very) Dear T.F.,

This is the second time you've Done this. You forgot me. So if you're not going to come, then, I'm going to keep my own teeth. You are through collecting teeth from Jennifer From Now on I'm keeping my own teeth.

Unsincerely,

Jennifer E.

P.S. Keep collecting from Mike, though. Obviously you like him better.

P.P.S. Don't bother to write back"

And why didn't she visit?

"Full story - So, I had lost a tooth, but I was suspicious about the actual validity of the toothfairy's magical abilities," Jennifer, now an adult, wrote on Reddit. "So, I didn't tell anyone about the lost tooth. Lo and behold, she did not arrive.

"The next morning, I loudly proclaimed the toothfairy bullshit in my 9 year old terms, and my mom told me to write her a letter expressing my displeasure.

"I was returned a letter that basically said,

"I couldn't get to your pillow the night before last because I got stuck in all the mess. Maybe if you clean your room, I could get to you in a timely manner."

"Well played, tooth fairy. Well played."

The letter is quite adorable, but not as a adorable as the four-year-old who invited a girl to "come to my house and eat cheeses with me".

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