Dr Ruth, sex expert who revolutionized how Americans talk in public about intercourse, dies at 96

Dr Ruth Westheimer, a celebrity sex guru who changed the way Americans speak about intimacy, died at her Manhattan home Friday at age 96.

Her death was announced on her Twitter account Saturday morning with a short message: “The beloved Dr Ruth has passed away.”

Westheimer’s cause of death was not immediately known.

Her sex guru career began in her 50s when she began taking questions from readers on New York radio station WYNY. The station’s community affairs manager, Betty Elam, heard her speak to a group of broadcasters about sexual literacy and pitched a program starring Westheimer in 1980.

Westheimer had a 15-minute segment that played after midnight on Sundays. The show, called  “Sexually Speaking” made Westheimer a celebrity.

Westheimer was at the height of her fame in the 1980s. She appeared on late night talk shows and even had her own show that ran from 1984 to 1991 called “The Dr Ruth Show.” Jerry Seinfeld and Cyndi Lauper made appearances on the program. She was also routinely asked to speak on university campuses to students.

open image in gallery

She authored over 30 books to educate the general public about sex. Titles included Sex for Dummies, The Art of Arousal and Heavenly Sex, among others. Her latest work, The Joy of Connections, cowritten with Allison Gilbert, is scheduled to come out this fall.

“I am heartbroken. Recently, on June 4, her closest friends and family gathered to celebrate her 96th birthday,” Gilbert wrote on X. “It was a joyous occasion. I will keep the memory of that wonderful evening close to my heart. Already missing my friend so much.”

Westheimer, who was born in Germany in 1928, lived in Frankfurt until her father was dragged off to a concentration camp the day after Kristallnacht.

Her mother then sent her away to Switzerland. She never saw either of her parents again and believed they died in the Holocaust.

“I don’t think of myself as a survivor,” she said in a Hulu documentary about her life. “I think of myself as an orphan of the Holocaust.”

Before going into the sex industry, Westheimer attended the Sorbonne in Paris and New School for Social Research in 1959, where she obtained her Master’s degree. She was later hired as a research assistant at Columbia University’s School of Public Health. In 1967, she became project director of a Planned Parenthood clinic in Harlem. She obtained her doctorate from Columbia in 1970.

Westheimer was married three times. While her first two marriages were brief, her third marriage to fellow Holocaust survivor Manfred “Fred” Westheimer lasted 36 years until his death in 1997.

She is survived by two children – daughter Miriam Yael Westheimer and son Joel Westheimer – as well as four grandchildren.

Westheimer never stopped working. Recently, New York Governor Kathy Hochul appointed her as the Ambassador to Loneliness in New York State.

“Dr Ruth Westheimer led an extraordinary life,” Hochul said in an emailed statement. “She was brave, funny, candid and brilliant.

“As New York’s first-ever Ambassador to Loneliness, we worked together to spotlight a mental health crisis impacting our seniors. We will miss her greatly. May her memory be a blessing.”