A few tips for Donald Trump on his inauguration as US President

“So help me God”. When Donald John Trump utters those words on Friday, the Chief Justice of the United States, John Roberts, offers his warm congratulations and the band strikes up the first bars of “Hail To The Chief”, he will become the 45th President of the United States. It will be interesting to see how quickly he will fire of his first presidential tweet, hopefully not rubbishing the historic and solemn ceremony he has just taken part in. True to form, though, President-elect Trump’s inauguration is already proving one of the most divisive and controversial in American history. He certainly has a lot to live up to – so here we helpfully offer him a few tips for success.

Like Shakespearean plays, presidential inaugural addresses have given the language some of its most ringing phrases. Mr Trump’s speechwriter and current director of policy, Stephen Miller, will have had as strong influence on what Mr Trump chooses to tell the nation. Mr Miller composed Mr Trump’s speech to the Republican Convention and, if it runs along those sorts of lines, it will be rather long and contain more or less explicit references to some of the themes that Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan used in their campaigns – such as “the silent majority” or “make American great again”. He may even echo President Reagan’s quip from 1980 that “in this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem”. If he wanted more inspiration he has much to choose form. John F Kennedy’s speech contained the most stirring rhetoric ever issued form the steps of the Capitol, and well worth quoting:

“And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.”

“My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.”

Kennedy’s skilled use of the “two-part contrast”, a classical rhetorical device, helped those lines (though not the less quoted second one) become endlessly quoted and plagiarised. That wasn’t all, though: “Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans – born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage – and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world. As the oldest President to take the oath, Mr Trump probably couldn’t lift that paragraph. Nor is he likely to beat the most useful quote from an initial speech, Franklin D Roosevelt’s ringing cry to restore business and consumer confidence in Depression-era America: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.

Melania Trump was widely accused of plagiarising Michelle Obama’s speeches, and that will be a lesson learned for the Trump team. Nor would he wish to repeat the experience of the newly installed President Nana Akufo-Addo of Ghana, whose remarks bore a curious resemblance to those that fell from the lips of Bill Clinton in 1993. See what you think:

Clinton: “Though our challenges are fearsome, so are our strengths. And Americans have ever been a restless, questing, hopeful people. We must bring to our task today the vision and will of those who come before us.”

Akufo-Addo: “Though our challenges are fearsome, so are our strengths. Ghanaians have been a restless, questing, hopeful people. And we must bring to our task today the vision and will of those who came before us.”

What are the chances, eh?

Though not conclusively proven, the short presidency of William Henry Harrison was matched by the length of his speech – about an hour and three quarters and 8,500 words (over)long. On the bitterly cold and damp day President Harrison dispensed with hat and coat, caught a chill that turned into pneumonia and did for him. He was the third oldest man to take the oath (after Trump and Reagan), and served for just one month in 1841.In 1985 Ronald Reagan thought better of the –14C cold and took the oath indoors instead. After the resignation of President Nixon in 1974, Vice President Ford took the oath in a low-key ceremony at the White House.

More tragically, Lyndon Johnson became President aboard Air Force One, on his return from the assassination of Kennedy in Dallas, Texas. Vice President Johnson asked federal district judge, Sarah T Hughes, to swear him in, and used an order-of-service for a mass rather than the traditional bible, as that was all there was to hand. Barack Obama held the bible used by Abraham Lincoln in 1861; the militantly secular John Quincy Adams, the sixth president, swore on a book of US laws rather than a religious tome; and Theodore Roosevelt, like Johnson taking office hurriedly after the assassination of President McKinley, did without a prop altogether.

Otherwise some pedant will go around saying that you’re not a legitimate president. Barack Obama’s first swearing-in in 2012 was badly botched. Chief Justice Roberts, at his first gig, told Mr Obama to repeat the line, “I will execute the office of president to the United States faithfully”, rather than “I will faithfully execute…” When asked if he would take the pledge again, Obama replied that he would : “We’re going to do it really slowly”, which they did, in a private session. So maybe practice those 35 legendary words (the last four – “so help me god” – supposedly ad libbed by George Washington).

President Ulysses S Grant thought it would be kinda neat to recruit 100 canaries to be suspended in cages tweeting (in the traditional sense) above the heads of the guests at the inaugural ball, being held in a tent. So cold was it, however, that the canaries dropped off their perches. No humans were hurt, however.

President-elect Trump, obviously, has promised his inauguration will have “unbelievable, perhaps record-breaking turnout”. Depends on how many “forgotten” Americans remember to turn up, but the figure is most likely to be about half of the 1.8 million or so who went to see America’s first black President in 2008 (and the first, four years later, to use the word “gay” in an inaugural address – another symbolic moment). Mr Trump made explicit reference to America’s LGBT community in his Republican nomination acceptance speech last year, and may well do so again.

The list of performers who have refused President-elect Trump’s invitation to do a turn for his big day reads like a showbiz who’s who: Elton John, Celine Dion, Garth Brooks, Kiss, Moby, Andrea Bocelli, Rebecca Ferguson and Charlotte Church have all declined, more or less politely. Had they agreed, they might have eclipsed the acts at Barack Obama’s his first inauguration concert: Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen and Aretha Franklin performed. Bill Clinton had Fleetwood Mac perform their/his campaign song “Don’t Stop”, Richard Nixon treated his guests to James Brown and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Presidents Truman and Eisenhower persuaded Abbott and Costello to do their shtick, and George HW Bush invited Barbra Streisand to take the stage. Thus far Mr Trump will be the biggest star at his own event. He is planning a “Voices of the People” concert, and the DC Fire Department Emerald Society Pipes and Drums, King’s Academy Honor Choir, the Republican Hindu Coalition and 3 Doors Down are confirmed.

So help me god, indeed.