Family of Ulster 'disappeared' prepare for Christmas

Mark and Bernie O'Connor will try their best for the sake of the children and grandchildren on Christmas Day tomorrow, but once the kids have been put to bed they will follow a private nightly routine.

Most nights they break down in tears, weeping for their 24-year-old son Gareth, who was abducted by republicans in May and is presumed dead, buried somewhere in south Armagh.

The O'Connors, who live in Armagh city, are in a permanently distraught state. Their son is gone, joining the ranks of "the disappeared", but republicans deny all knowledge.

In recent years, the IRA has finally admitted, after years of denial, that it abducted and killed individuals in the 1970s, and given information on where they were buried. Some bodies have been recovered.

The saga has been a major embarrassment to republicans, who were pilloried for inflicting decades of mental torture on families. No one can explain why they would start the whole cycle all over again.

Bernie O'Connor said of Christmas: "I'm dreading it." Her husband Mark added: "The only thing that keeps us going is the children. We have to have a Christmas for them. It's eating away at us, but you have to put a brave face on it." Their son Gareth left two children as well as a 10-year-old sister who idolised him. "I don't let her see me cry," said Mark, "but once she goes to bed at night that's us, we break down.

"We're left here crying at each other, just looking at each other crying. We would love to have a grave to go to - we could go to it on Christmas morning - but we're left here with no word, not a trace." The O'Connors are a close-knit family. They occupy four houses in a small, neat suburban estate. Their son's partner, Leona, who lives next door, is "wrecked" by his disappearance.

She kept hoping, but now realises there is no real chance he could be still alive. Bernie says of Gareth's six-year-old son Caolan: "We told him an angel came down and took his daddy to heaven. But there's no coffin, there's no funeral, so the child is totally baffled." Gareth himself may not have been an angel: "He wouldn't have gone looking for trouble," according to his mother, "but if somebody picked on him he wouldn't have walked away from it."

A body-builder more than six feet tall, he was, in his father's words, "big, fit, strong, a brute of a man." He was awaiting trial in the Irish Republic on a charge of the belonging to the Real IRA. When he was taken he was driving through south Armagh to report to a police station south of the border as part of his bail conditions.

On his way, Leona texted him reminding him to bring back papers and milk. He texted back: "OK." Since then, nothing. He disappeared along with his car, with no credit cards, no passport and very little money. Sinn Fein and the IRA say they know nothing and cannot help. A senior Sinn Fein figure visited the family, returning after a month to say he had established that republicans were not involved.

The O'Connors do not believe him, and the assumption is that the IRA in south Armagh, which is something of a law unto itself, is responsible. The police agree, saying it is likely he was taken by the IRA.

Monsignor Denis Faul, a priest who has worked with many such stricken families, agreed: "I've believed from the start that he was taken away by members of the IRA in south Armagh, though they may not have been acting under orders from HQ. Where are the rights of the O'Connor family - where are Gareth's human rights? There will be no peace until you have healing." The O'Connors specifically blame a senior local IRA figure, saying Gareth pursued him after investing money in a pyramid selling scheme that collapsed.

How do Sinn Fein people react when the O'Connors walk through Armagh city? "They hide," Mark said. "They put their head down, they can't even look you straight in the face. But we've also had ex-prisoners coming to us to say they disagree with it, that they're sorry." Tomorrow, the O'Connors will go on assuring the children that Gareth is in heaven, even though they believe he lies beneath the frosty, pitiless soil of south Armagh.