Tom Peck's Sketch: Will Tizer tax be the undoing of George Osborne?

The problem with running a one-party state is that it can breed complacency. With only Jeremy Corbyn and the SNP to deal with every week, it’s clear George Osborne had allowed himself to become blindsided to the challenges posed by a visit to St Benedict’s Catholic Primary School in Leeds.

It was a big risk. When you’ve just stuck 8p on a can of Tizer, primary-school children are the last people who are going to want to see you. Studies show that many seven- to nine-year-olds in Leeds are forced to survive on just £1 pocket money a week. Analysts forecast the hike will precipitate a total collapse in living standards. In like-for-like terms, that’s the equivalent of a typical Chancellor, earning £134,565 per annum, suddenly having to find £206.96 each time he wants a can of Blackcurrant Tango. Children’s rights groups warn that, already, thousands are turning to Fruit Pastilles.

First, in a stunt contrived solely for the TV cameras, the pupils refused to pass the netball to him. “Come on! Come on!” the Chancellor bleated. It was as if he wasn’t there, although he is clearly visible now and for all posterity in glorious technicolor.

The working breakfast afterwards could hardly have been more frosty, even if there had been Frosties. “So, we’ve got your favourite cereals here, Cheerios, Rice Krispies,” Osborne pleaded. They just stared down into their milky bowls.

Fortunately, after lunch it was back to the Commons, to listen to Labour trying to clear the smoke and crack the mirrors of his Budget. “This Chancellor is borrowing to fund cuts in public services,” John McDonnell told the House. (Nope, me neither).

Osborne just sat there, laughing at something on his phone (in a red case, of course). It was hard to tell what, but given the rest of the nation was laughing at the footage of his school visit, that can’t be ruled out.

Education Secretary Nicky Morgan was there too, again commending the plan to “academise all schools”. Whether these academies will teach the verb “to academise”, we can but hope not. Although once all schools have converted, all school prize-givings could become known as the Academy Awards. We await the lines of paparazzi three-deep outside pavements up and down the land, desperate to know what designer little Hayley Truscott is wearing as she picks up the Year Nine Academy Award for Geography, before staggering off to Elton John’s for a night on the top-price Apple Mirinda.