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Elections highlights of the day: 03/05/2010

 

Tom Mendelsohn
Sunday 02 May 2010 19:00 EDT
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Augury of the day

Astrologer Russell Grant has gone out on a limb; the planets are aligning above a Lib-Con coalition. "Astrologically the future lies with Dave and Nick really thanks to their Jupiter in Leo – they may not be as poles apart as they think. But for Gordon, he belongs to the past and Labour should now start thinking about who's next!" For the Prime Minister, even on the large, lifeless ball of gas that is the largest planet, there is no respite.

Passage of the day

But if Brown goes down, it will be fighting. Speaking in a south London church yesterday morning, he went biblical on his rivals. Loosely quoting Amos 5:23-24, the PM declared: "Have done with people who are just presenting images. Have done with people who are just talking, or singing songs that don't mean anything. Have done with the irrelevancies.... Let justice roll like water and righteousness like a mighty stream." Who can avoid comparisons with Ezekiel 25:17 and Samuel L Jackson.

Chicken product of the day

Motorway-related travails for John Prescott. Having been caught behind a lorry with "Blair" emblazoned on its rear, the Prescott Express soon after found itself held up by a Land Rover with a number plate holding an unwelcome historical reminder: EGG 6X. A cruel yolk. [Exit stage left...]

Armada of the day

In the years BC (Before Clegg) Eduardo Suarez was undergoing a miserable campaign. The London correspondent for Spain's El Mundo newspaper, he thought himself doomed to a long, lonely month covering the "dour and boring" PM. But Clegg, or more specifically his wife, Miriam (born Valladolid), has been "like a gift from God", he says. Since her husband's insurgency began, Mrs Clegg has helped Eduardo sell a sackload of stories. Suarez declares, excitably: "People fantasise that 500 years after the Armada we are finally going to put a Spanish woman in No 10."

Prayer of the day

From Philippa Stroud, likely new Tory MP for Sutton and Cheam, accused yesterday of praying for gay people to "drive out their demons through prayer" ( The Observer). Ms Stroud replied: "I make no apology for being a committed Christian. However, it is categorically untrue that I believe homosexuality to be an illness. The idea that I am prejudiced against gay people is false and insulting." In other prayer news, factotums at Tory HQ have their hands tog-ether to ask the Almighty to delay any more articles on Conservatives and gays until after polling day.

Random fact of the day

All the election-winning PMs with degrees since 1935 went to Oxford. Churchill and Major didn't attend uni. (Hat-tip: politicalbetting.com)

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