David Cameron conference speech: What the Prime Minister said – and what he really meant

What David Cameron said: "I can say something today that perhaps no Prime Minister has ever really been able to say before. I’m starting the second half of my time in this job. As you know, I am not going to fight another election as your leader."

What he meant: No one apart from Blair, of course, but he had Gordon to contend with. I’ll stamp George’s fingers off the cliff-edge if he tries any of that nonsense on me.

What David Cameron said: "We cannot let that man inflict his security-threatening, terrorist-sympathising, Britain-hating ideology on this country we love."

What he meant: But enough about Ralph Miliband. Let me turn now to foreign affairs.

What David Cameron said: "This party kept a promise – to spend 0.7 per cent of our national income on aid. Other countries also made that promise. But they didn’t keep it."

What he meant: I love this bit. I make them clap foreign aid and then I make the ones who refuse to clap feel unpatriotic.

What David Cameron said: "So let’s stand and thank [the armed forces] for everything they do to keep us safe."

What he meant: Then I can make them stand. Feel the power.

What David Cameron said: "We all know what’s wrong with the EU. But we also know what’s right about it. Now, some people say: 'Take what we’ve got and put up with it.' Others say: 'Just walk away from the whole thing.' I say: no. This is Britain. We don’t duck fights. We get stuck in. We fix problems."

What he meant: Even on Europe I’m going to say things that Blair couldn’t disagree with – and advocate a third way between rhetorical extremes.

What David Cameron said: "Today, I can announce a dramatic shift in housing policy."

What he meant: I am going to dress up a minor tweak in secondary regulations as another grand initiative.

What David Cameron said: "We are going to tackle those big social problems. Central to that is an all-out assault on poverty."

What he meant: Never mind the cuts to tax credits for the working poor. Tough on the causes of poverty, not so tough on actual poverty today.

What David Cameron said: "This ideology, this diseased view of the world, has become an epidemic – infecting minds from the mosques of Mogadishu to the bedrooms of Birmingham."

What he meant: This is the “Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick” section of the speech: “In the deserts of Sudan/ And the gardens of Japan/ From Milan to Yucatan …”

What David Cameron said: "If you want an NHS that’s there for everybody …and you understand none of that is possible without a strong economy … If you want these things, the party you need is the party right here."

What he meant: Or you can vote for the party that gave you Jeremy Corbyn.

What David Cameron said: "Bernard Harris from Leicester wrote to me before polling day and said this. 'In my life I have foolishly voted Labour, believing it served the working class. How wrong I was.'"

What he meant: Jeremy Corbyn isn’t the only one who can read out emails. Welcome to the new politics.

What David Cameron said: "A country raising its sights, its people reaching new heights, a Great British take-off – that leaves no-one behind."

What he meant: Craig, are you sure this doesn’t make all the One Nation stuff sound a bit silly? It'll be a gift to the headline-writers: let them watch cake, etc, etc. Please come up with something else.