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The disturbing ways domestic abusers are using everyday technology to terrorise their victims

Frontline worker reveals domestic abusers are weaponising everything from smart home appliances to children’s toys

Maya Oppenheim
Women’s Correspondent
Wednesday 04 December 2024 08:00 EST
Jodi Leedham gave examples of abusers remotely controlling the heating in a home to taunt a victim or playing creepy songs through smart speakers in the dead of night
Jodi Leedham gave examples of abusers remotely controlling the heating in a home to taunt a victim or playing creepy songs through smart speakers in the dead of night (Getty)

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From home speakers to smart hot tubs, and including remote devices such as smart locks, CCTV and trackers, domestic abusers are using everyday technology to terrorise and monitor their victims.

Jodi Leedham, who leads the team that specialises in tackling tech abuse at leading domestic abuse charity Refuge, explains that many people would be surprised at how such devices can be taken advantage of.

“It’s not inherently a tech problem,” Ms Leedham told The Independent. “It’s a human behavioural problem. It’s a domestic abuse problem.”

Be a brick, buy a brick and donate here or text BRICK to 70560 to donate £15

She added smart locks in particular are a major concern, as perpetrators can monitor when doors are unlocked and who is coming and going, while doorbells with cameras can also be misused.

Her insights come as The Independent continues its Brick by Brick campaign, which was launched in partnership with Refuge, to raise funds to build two houses for women and children escaping abusive partners. The initial £300,000 target was passed thanks to generous donations from readers. More than £520,000 in donations has flooded in so far, and plans are already underway for a second home.

One woman says her ex-partner got her to take a phone contract out under his name so he could keep tabs on her calls
One woman says her ex-partner got her to take a phone contract out under his name so he could keep tabs on her calls (PA Wire)

No two days are the same for Ms Leedham. From supporting victims whose ex-partners are hiding tracking devices in the linings of children’s coats or listening to their conversations via smart speakers, the frontline worker sees how perpetrators wield increasingly sophisticated technology to torment their victims.

Ms Leedham said the cases they deal with are becoming ever more complex as she explains most survivors Refuge supports have experienced some form of tech-related abuse.

Exclusive analysis recently shared with The Independent revealed the specialist tech team at the charity reported a 207 per cent increase in referrals compared with the first year it launched. Some 514 women were referred to the team last year, compared to just 167 in 2018.

Jasminder*, a domestic abuse victim, recently told this publication about how her partner stopped her from accessing their joint account despite the fact her salary was paid into it. He also got her to take a phone contract out under his name so he could keep tabs on her calls, she added.

“I have no bruises to show, but he destroyed me in every sense," Jasminder said.

Discussing the dangers of everyday tech when it falls into the wrong hands, Ms Leedham said she has seen instances of perpetrators turning up the temperature uncomfortably high on smart hot tubs, which can be controlled remotely. “Home tech has this ability to gaslight,” she explained.

Survivors do come to us sometimes and say my partner or my ex-partner knows things he shouldn’t know, and I have no idea how

Jodi Leedham

She also gave examples of abusers remotely controlling the heating in a home to torment a victim or playing creepy songs through smart speakers in the dead of night.

“This is the really, really insidious thing about how it's being used - it is being used post-separation when perpetrators feel like they have nothing to lose and they want to regain a whole load of that power and control,” she added. “It's the abuse that doesn't require proximity.”

Ms Leedham explained some smart speakers can transcribe parts of conversations, adding that this setting can be turned off.

“It's constantly listening for you to say these buzzwords and if it catches something it thinks sounds kind of like that buzzword, it'll record it,” she said. “They will also record everything that you have asked it.”

This means perpetrators can track a partner’s movements by keeping tabs on the device’s transcriptions - for instance, working out where they are going from the questions they are asking the gadget or by querying about how to get to a certain postcode.

Another major mechanism for tech abuse is the hiding of cameras in children’s toys
Another major mechanism for tech abuse is the hiding of cameras in children’s toys (PA Archive)

“Survivors do come to us sometimes and say my partner or my ex-partner knows things he shouldn't know, and I have no idea how,” she added. “And so we will assess and we will do this big rundown of all the technology you have in the home.”

But this issue transcends the home - with Ms Leedham and her team routinely supporting domestic abuse survivors whose perpetrators are following them via their smart car or through a tracker they have placed on the vehicle.

Another major mechanism for tech abuse is the hiding of cameras in children’s toys or clothing and gifts given to children by domestic abusers. For this reason, Christmas is always a “weary time of year for us”, Ms Leedham said.

Her work also involves supporting domestic abuse victims to flee their perpetrators and get to a refuge. This involves everything from buying burner phones to trying to decipher if an abuser is tracking a victim via their car.

“We are not unaware of the fact that women are reaching out to us at a point of great danger for them, and they have made one of the hardest and biggest decisions and technology unfortunately has complicated that for them,” she added.

Ms Leedham argued abusers are wielding technology to further abuse their victims as she warns that tech is becoming increasingly accessible and there is no limit to a “perpetrator's imagination”.

“As part of the dynamics of domestic abuse, they will find any way to exert power and control,” she concluded.

Please donate now to the Brick by Brick campaign, launched by The Independent and charity Refuge, to help raise another £300,000 to build a second safe space for women where they can escape domestic abuse, rebuild their lives and make a new future. Text BRICK to 70560 to donate £15.

*Jasminder’s name has been changed to protect her identity.

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