'I'm drunk on my own adrenaline': Meeting the Kate and Will superfans who camped out to welcome the Royal baby

This is what 2,000 years of civilisation gets you.

When Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable, she had to make do with a few shepherds and a trio of wise men for an audience.

When Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, gave birth to a boy in the private wing of a London hospital, she got a crowd of hundreds and the wisdom of every pundit the world’s 24-hour rolling news channels could muster.

For this, not the first, but the third child born to Kate and William – and therefore the fifth in line to the throne - the duchess got the massed ranks of the press filling the pavement, five rows deep.

She got police with sniffer dogs keeping order, and Hello! publicity reps handing out Union Flags emblazoned with the name of the celebrity magazine.

And somewhere in the crowd, she got a bloke holding up a picture of her, with a halo, on a donkey, carrying her baby, being led by Wills-as-Joseph, with little George and Charlotte following behind.

Mary got the three wise men bearing gold, frankincense and myrrh. Kate got John, Terry, Maria and Amy camping out for 15 days, with four dolls, donated to them by the Luvabella doll company.

The dolls weren’t being given directly to the Royal baby, but they were going to good causes in his honour.

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John was giving his doll to children at the hospital, St Mary’s, Paddington, (albeit not the private Lindo Wing where the duchess had just brought the spare, spare heir into the world).

John, as he has told many an interviewer, is John Loughrey, “Princess Diana Superfan”.

He was there at the inquest into her death, mentioned by the judge, Lord Justice Scott Baker, who told the jury: “Only you and I, and the gentleman with Diana and Dodi written on his forehead have been here for every word of evidence.”

Now the 63-year-old had accessorised his doll’s pretty pink dress with a beautiful gold-coloured crown. The doll emitted squeaky giggling sounds as John told interviewer after interviewer how he was going to celebrate this extra-special St George’s Day with “fish and chips and an England flag”.

And song.

“Congratulations,” John would begin, “And celebrations…”

And as the Princess Diana Superfan sang, the doll seemed to join in, like a ventriloquist’s dummy, in a heartwarming and only slightly creepy kind of way.

John spoke from the very front of the crowd.

Base camp was far behind him: a small tent, covered by a Union Jack; shopping caddies with Union Jacks tied to them; Tesco carrier bags with Union Jack bunting peeping out; cardboard bedding; and a bench with a Union Jack quilt draped over it.

For more than a fortnight this had been home to John, Terry Hutt, 82, Maria Scott, 46, and her daughter Amy Thompson, 17, from Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

“Fifteen days,” said John proudly. “It’s a record. George was eight days, Charlotte was two weeks.

“The hospital staff have been fantastic. We’ve been able to have showers every day, porridge, curry…”

You really couldn’t buy this kind of excitement.

“I’m drunk on my own adrenaline,” admitted town crier Tony Appleton.

Tony, 82, had been practising for this for two hours a day, for the last two weeks. On Saturday he came from his home in Great Baddow, Essex, for a rehearsal “trial run” on the steps of the Lindo Wing.

“It’s only a few words,” he explained, “But when you are facing the world … One mistake and they’ll come down on you like a ton of bricks.”

Fortunately, so far, Tony’s town crying was proving up to the big occasion. Spurred on by the demands of the camera crews, he was on 12 flawless ‘cries’ for the day, and counting.

“You cry from the stomach, not the throat,” he advised. “I could cry for six hours without losing my voice.”

And for The Independent, he made it 13th time lucky.

“Oyez, oyez oyez,” he began.

“It will take me two weeks to come down from this,” admitted Tony.

Even Margaret Tyler was drinking champagne.

“I normally only drink tea,” said the grandmother-of-four. “I’m thrilled to bits.”

“I’ve got 10,000 items of Royal memorabilia,” added Margaret, “Fifteen hundred books, videos … My house is a B and B – it’s got the Diana Room, the Jubilee Room … The guests and I will talk about the Royals for half the night. We love it.”

There was one slight problem, but it wasn’t unduly bothering the 74-year-old from Wembley, north London.

“I’ve got two dining room tables,” said Margaret, “One for George and one for Charlotte. I’ll have to get another one now. I’ll need a bigger house! Maybe I’ll get my builder to make one that exactly fits the dimensions of the space I’ve got.”

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And so, Margaret and the others waited for the Royal baby to be carried from the hospital, and for the Royal parents to wave to the cameras.

And as they waited, they proclaimed Kate “lovely.”

“Very much like the Queen Mother,” they said. “She does so much for the country.”

And yet in their midst were unbelievers.

Sitting on a bench festooned with bunting, was a woman with her right foot in a cast

The Independent assumed that even the lame had come to pay their respects.

The Independent was swiftly disabused.

Connie, 50, a restaurant manager from Islington, north London, explained that she was on the bunting-clad bench because there was nowhere else for her to go.

Connie had recently had two toes on her right foot amputated. She had been in hospital for two months.

The bench outside the Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother wing had been where she went, on crutches, when she wanted a bit of peace and quiet, “Until this lot took over.”

“They’re a pain in the arse,” said Connie, with some feeling. “They’ve stolen all the benches.

And no, it wasn’t in a good cause.

“The Royal Family, the Queen and the rest of them,” said Connie, “Are just parasites.”

Nor did she have a particularly high opinion of the Royal watchers.

“I think they are stupid,” she said, “Like they have got nothing else to do, like there is something lacking in their lives.”

“It’s ridiculous,” Connie added, gazing towards the front of the crowd. “I can’t see what they’re getting out of it, really … But they do love the media attention.”

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are getting married on May 19. Expect everyone to be there, except maybe Connie.