Prince's Trust award-winner tells of how he came out as transgender and battled with mental health problems
'It was terrifying. It was not an easy thing to do. I remember coming out to my mum in the middle of Morrisons because it was a neutral place,' says Jay Kelly
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Your support makes all the difference.For 21-year-old Jay Kelly, stumbling across The Prince's Trust was the single “best thing” to ever happen in his life.
The teenager, who won the Ascential Education Achiever Award at the The Prince’s Trust and TK Maxx & Homesense Awards ceremony at the London Palladium, has gone from rarely leaving the house to studying to be a mental health nurse.
The annual event celebrates those who have worked with The Prince’s Trust on training programmes, community projects, and to establish businesses.
Kelly, from Portsmouth, said he realised he felt different to other girls his own age when he was 14. Then, he started to question his gender before coming out as transgender a couple of years later.
“It was terrifying,” he told The Independent. “It was not an easy thing to do. I remember coming out to my mum in the middle of Morrisons because it was a neutral place. My parents were not fully supportive until a couple of years later. It took some time but they got there. My friends were not all really accepting of me coming out as transgender. They were a little bit disgusted. We were finishing year 11 and they just didn’t get it. If I did it now they would be fine with it – it was just the age we were at that time.”
It was his NHS mental health worker who first told him about The Prince's Trust Fairbridge programme – which provides a free opportunity for 16 to 25-year-olds to learn new skills and train.
“I was reluctant to go," he said. "I was not the most social person. I didn’t really leave the house. I’d been in hospital for a month and I’d only been out for a week. But it has really changed my life. I would not be anywhere near who I am and what I’m doing now if it wasn’t for The Prince's Trust.”
While he was not the only one his mental health worker pushed to go, he was the only one who took her advice and went.
“I don’t remember a lot of it because my mental health and brain has blocked a lot of it,” he said of studying for his GCSEs. “I was predicted A’s and A*’s but my mental health stopped me from going to school. My attendance was low. I got mostly C’s but I failed English which is a vital one for college. It does not sound that bad to a lot of people but I was told I was going to get A’s and A*’s and then I came out with C's. It was heartbreaking.”
Kelly is now in his first year of studying Mental Health Nursing at the University of West London.
“I’m loving it,” he said. “It is brilliant. It is what I’ve wanted to do for years. I have a long history of mental health issues and I’ve always wanted to go into a career that helps others with their mental health issues.”
He said that mental health nurses had massively supported him, adding that he often wound up seeing them more than doctors and got to know them better.
“I love London too,” he added. “It is a big place but it is also tiny at the same time. People are busy living their lives regardless of what I am doing. The Prince's Trust has been the best thing to happen in my life. There is nothing I can ever do to repay them. I had never heard of them before doing my course. I owe them so much.”
Turning his attention to the struggles faced by the wider transgender community, he said: “People think that the trans community want all this attention but all we want is to be treated the same. Trans people experience more mental health issues and higher homelessness.”
Katherine Kelly and Michael McIntyre presented Kelly with the award from Prince Charles, founder and President of The Prince’s Trust, at the national final.
The event was hosted by Fearne Cotton and Phillip Schofield and attended by high-profile names such as Chiwetel Ejiofor, Nicola Adams, Luke Evans, and Anne Marie.
The Prince’s Trust, who The Independent is a media partner of, recognise young people who have succeeded against the odds, improved their chances in life and had a positive impact on their local community at the awards. The trust was founded to help vulnerable young people get their lives back on track in 1976.
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