‘He beat me black and blue’: Love Island star says she had to move four times to escape abusive ex
‘I fell on my back and my stomach hit the side of the bed. A few days later I noticed the baby wasn’t moving around – that was the first sign something was wrong,’ Malin Andersson tells The Independent
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Your support makes all the difference.A reality TV star has said she was forced to move home four times to escape her ex-partner’s relentless harassment as she told of how he would “jump balconies” to track her down.
Malin Andersson, who was on Love Island, told The Independent her ex-partner Tom Kemp beat her “black and blue” while pregnant and she believes this contributed to her daughter Consy’s death at just over four weeks old.
Kemp was sentenced to just over nine months in prison in September 2020 for assault occasioning actual bodily harm.
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Ms Andersson’s story comes as The Independent continues its Brick by Brick campaign in partnership with the leading charity Refuge to raise enough to build two safe homes for survivors of domestic abuse. More than £520,000 in donations has poured in so far.
The 32-year-old, who works as a motivational speaker and is now mother to two-year-old Xaya, hailed the campaign as “amazing” as she explained she had been fortunate enough to be able to afford to move to escape her ex-partner – but some women aren’t in a financial position to do so.
Ms Andersson said a refuge for domestic abuse victims would have been ideal for her but as she was not a mother at the time, she did not look into it after wrongly assuming they were only for women with children.
“It would have been perfect because I would have been incognito,” she added.
Discussing the early days of her almost two-year on-and-off relationship, she told of how her ex love-bombed her – bombarding her with messages, lavishing her with gifts, as well as “over-complimenting” her.
“It's the usual. They're all just the clones of each other,” she said of domestic abusers.
She did not see the love bombing as a red flag due to not receiving love from her parents, she explained.
“It was quite quick until he revealed his anger bursts,” Ms Andersson said. “A lot of it was emotional, a lot of it physical as well. A lot of gaslighting, putting down, name-calling, belittling me, making me feel like nothing, and that I don't have anyone.”
I even had cameras put up in my living room because he would knock on the neighbour’s door and say ‘Oh, I think my girlfriend’s ill’ and he would jump balconies to get to me.
She explained her ex used the fact her mother, dad and daughter were no longer alive against her many times.
“He hit, punched and kicked me, threw me around and spat on me, even sprayed deodorant on my face,” Ms Andersson recalled of her ex’s violence. “But the emotional abuse would be even worse – he would call me all sorts of diminishing insults like slag and worse. I think I’ve blanked the worst of it out.”
She told of how her partner had “slapped and punched” her and then threw her into a wardrobe when she was six months pregnant.
“I fell on my back and my stomach hit the side of the bed. A few days later I noticed the baby wasn’t moving around – that was the first sign something was wrong,” she added.
“The abuse was a big part of her [my daughter’s] death. I was beaten black and blue when I was pregnant, and that had a huge impact. I feared for her every day of the pregnancy – there wasn’t a minute I felt happy or safe.”
She said Kemp was still abusing her “behind the scenes” after Consy was born and they were staying at Great Ormond Street as their daughter had to be hospitalised.
Her ex sought to control her during their relationship, she said, adding that he would ask where she was and turn up at places.
She added that after she left him, he would “kept turning up everywhere I lived”, and she had to move multiple times to escape him.
“He wouldn't take no for an answer so if I blocked him on all my lines, he would email me,” she said.
I feared for her every day of the pregnancy – there wasn’t a minute I felt happy or safe.
“I even had cameras put up in my living room because he would knock on the neighbour's door and say ‘Oh, I think my girlfriend's ill’ and he would jump balconies to get to me.
“I had severe post-traumatic stress disorder at night because he'd do it at night time if he had been drinking.”
The interview comes as Ms Andersson has joined forces with domestic abuse charity Hestia and Vodafone UK to raise awareness of the Bright Sky app – a free resource for those enduring abuse as well as the individuals around them.
She urged domestic abuse survivors who remain trapped with perpetrators to recognise their situation can only change if they choose to flee, with the help of a charity such as Refuge which can help them do it safely.
“Nothing will change until you leave,” Ms Andersson said. “Everything will keep repeating itself – the good days, the bad days, them being nice to you, then repeating the same cycle. The only change comes from within yourself. No one else can force you to. You have to want to do it.”
Please donate now to the Brick by Brick campaign, launched by The Independent and charity Refuge, to help raise another £300,000 to build a second safe space for women where they can escape domestic abuse, rebuild their lives and make a new future. Text BRICK to 70560 to donate £15.
The national domestic abuse helpline offers support for women on 0808 2000 247, or you can visit the Refuge website. There is a dedicated men’s advice line on 0808 8010 327.