I was ‘almost in state of breakdown’ when my first marriage broke up – Yousaf
Humza Yousaf was speaking about male mental health in a podcast with Alastair Campbell and Rory Stewart.
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Your support makes all the difference.First Minister Humza Yousaf has told how he was almost in a “state of breakdown” when his first marriage ended and sought professional help.
Mr Yousaf, who was transport minister from 2016 to 2018, said a “lack of boundaries” contributed to the end of his first marriage, in the same year he took up the position.
He spoke to The Rest is Politics podcast with Alastair Campbell and Rory Stewart, and said he advised Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer to “draw your boundaries early on” around family life and politics.
Mr Yousaf was married to SNP activist Gail Lythgoe from 2010 to 2016 and the couple divorced.
He said he feared if he opened up to colleagues about the breakdown that it would impact on his career, and described seeking professional help as “the best thing I ever did”.
Mr Yousaf remarried in 2019 to Nadia El-Nakla, and said he is now “really strict” with boundaries and ringfences Monday evenings for having a bedtime routine with daughter Amal, and stepdaughter Maya.
He said: “I remember the day that I knew I needed help. I was transport minister, my first marriage had broken down. It was really tough time. I remember it was in the middle of difficult weather, and transport minister is always a difficult job.
“I didn’t really feel that I had anyone to turn to. I remember actually just a whole day passing where I literally did not move from the right hand side of my settee.
I remember almost being in a state of breakdown, crying and upset and not really understanding what I was upset at. But then at that point, 24 hours later, knowing I needed help
“For a whole 24 hours I did not move – didn’t get up to drink water, didn’t get up to go to the toilet, didn’t eat anything.
“I remember almost being in a state of breakdown, crying and upset and not really understanding what I was upset at. But then at that point, 24 hours later, knowing I needed help.”
He said he never “spoke to Nicola (Sturgeon) or any of my colleagues”, and that stigma “100%” existed around male mental health at the time.
Mr Yousaf added: “I actually thought if they knew about it I’ll not be in a job. Now, I don’t think that would have been the case and Nicola would have been perfectly understanding as would my government colleagues – John Swinney, who I’ve always been close to, would have been very understanding.
“But you didn’t hear about ministers with mental health challenges. If they had mental health challenges, they left the job.
“I didn’t tell anybody actually, family, nobody knew about it.”
He added seeking help was “the best thing I ever did”.
Mr Yousaf also spoke about ensuring he allocated adequate time for his family despite the busy top job, with Monday nights allocated to his daughter’s bedtime routine.
The First Minister recalled a conversation he had with Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer during Cop28.
He said: “He was talking about his kids and keeping his kids out of it. And the advice I would give to Keir is draw your boundaries really early on.
“I didn’t do that – as I mentioned, there was a failed marriage over it, even my relationship with my parents and sisters and siblings became more difficult in that period when I didn’t draw boundaries.
“I remarried, had kids and I’m now really strict with my boundaries.”