Janet Ellis & Carol Decker: 'She got Alexander O'Neal, who is slightly nutty. I got Gregg Wallace, the singing potato'

Janet Ellis, 60

A former 'Blue Peter' presenter, Ellis (left in picture) is a broadcaster, an agony aunt for a national newspaper, and now a novelist. She lives in west London with her husband, and has three children, among them the singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor

I met Carol for the first time in 2007, though I was of course aware of her beforehand. We had both been very busy in our respective areas in the 1980s, me doing TV, her having hit singles with T'Pau. She always struck me as the quintessential rock chick.

But we didn't meet until we both appeared on the BBC TV show Just the Two of Us. There were many reasons why it lasted only two series. Basically, it was Strictly Come Dancing but with songs: a professional singer takes a rookie singer and coaches them in the way of song. Carol was paired with TV chef Gregg Wallace, and I was paired with the soul singer Alexander O'Neal. I can't speak for Carol, but I think it's fair to say that my partner was… well, challenging. I'm very fond of Alexander, but he wasn't around an awful lot. He had a relaxed attitude to rehearsals.

But Carol! Carol had such zest. All the adjectives I would use to describe her are to do with life: she had vitality, a desire to live in the moment. She was very down to earth, and funny. She is from the north of England, like my husband. I must be drawn to something of the northern character, which offsets my far more prim and repressed southern personality. Both she and my husband are a lot more open with their emotions. I do like that.

We bonded during the show, but we soon found we had so much more in common. We are of a similar age, we had similar ambitions, and in both of our lives, family is key.We swapped numbers and went for lunch, and it was a successful day. It all felt rather like a crush! I wanted our first date to go well, and I was so relieved it did.

We have kept in touch regularly ever since. Carol is still very active as a singer, and I've seen T'Pau play live. Those nostalgia tours are done very well. You can tell that the bands are enjoying themselves as much as the audience; everyone has an awful lot of fun.

When we get together, we talk about all sorts of things: the implications of getting older; having both lost our parents. We talk about our children and what they are going through, and we gossip. She makes me laugh.

The lovely thing about being freelance is that although you don't have watercooler moments or office parties, you can still make friends at any point in your professional life. It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's wonderful. I didn't do that BBC show with the hope of meeting a future soulmate, which is why it was so lovely to unexpectedly meet someone I really hit it off with.

I value her company, her friendship. If she wasn't in my life, I'd miss her dreadfully.

Carol Decker, 58

Lead singer of the 1980s band T'Pau, Decker still regularly tours. She lives in Henley-on-Thames with her husband, the restaurateur Richard Coates, and their two teenage children

Being on Just the Two of Us was like being at school. There were so many rules. The way it worked was that you only got introduced to your partner on camera, to make it a big TV surprise. Janet got Alexander O'Neal, who is quite nutty and has had a slightly chequered past. I got Gregg Wallace, the singing potato. I just remember looking across at Janet, and immediately getting the giggles. I've never been good at being indiscreet, and I'm always big on inappropriate laughter.

I'm very instinctive with my friends. I felt that with Janet, our souls had known each other a long time. We're a similar age, and we'd both been in showbusiness for decades. As soon as we started talking, we connected. She is such a clever, funny, empathetic and sympathetic person; she is so good at listening. I sometimes come away from our lunches invigorated, full of her good advice and determined to put it all into action. I'm not surprised she has recently become an agony aunt; she should get paid for all that wisdom!

I used to live in Kentish Town, but we had moved from there about 10 years before to Henley-on-Thames. Henley's lovely, but I missed a good bar, a grown-up cocktail and somewhere groovy to go, so I reached out to Janet. Janet lives in west London, which is a hop and a skip from Henley, so not only is she a top bird, she is geographically well located.

We soon introduced our husbands to one another, and they got on like a house on fire. Her husband is a television producer, mine runs restaurants. Both are pretty theatrical environments – front-of-house is like the stage, while backstage is the kitchen, where everyone is sweating and threatening one another with knives – so there was a common dynamic. Our children have met several times, and I've had lots of chats about music with her daughter, Sophie. She has four boys now, and a thriving career in music; I always ask how she keeps so many plates spinning.

I didn't have very many girlfriends when I was young. I was always a tomboy. I couldn't relate to girls, wasn't remotely girly-girly, which made attending a girls' school difficult. Later, when my career started, I would never be drinking Bacardi and Coke with the ladies at the table while the men were propping up the bar, as I would be at the bar with them. It was only when I got older that I found I could relate to similarly strong women who, like me, had been career-driven. And, like me, Janet is very ambitious. She has had her highs and her lows, but she is still very driven. I identify with her a lot, and I adore her.

'The Butcher's Hook' by Janet Ellis (£14.99, Two Roads) and 'Heart and Soul: The Carol Decker Autobiography' (£16.99, A Way With Media) are both out now