How I discovered the sinister truth about my daughter's internet 'boyfriend'

In November last year, one family was presented with a very modern kind of problem. Georgie, 13, was in the midst of an intense online relationship with someone who claimed to be 18, and who eventually suggested that the two of them should meet up in Milton Keynes. After some soul-searching, Catherine, Georgie's mother, insisted on going with her - and was horrified when they came face to face with a man in his late 40s. He was eventually charged with conspiracy to commit an act of gross indecency with a child, but the charges were later dropped due to lack of evidence

CATHERINE

"I was aware that Georgie was spending quite a lot of time talking to people via the internet - maybe an hour every evening. In some ways we felt positive about it - we knew where she was, she was safe at home, so we didn't mind. It was one of those adolescent enthusiasms - they put their whole life into it for a few weeks, and then it's dropped.

"She'd been talking to this man online for a while. They would say they loved each other. It seemed like a pretty normal adolescent relationship. It was a relationship. It started on her 13th birthday, which is in September, and they finally met face-to-face on 6 November.

"They ended up talking on the telephone, which is when the conversations had a sexual aspect. But we only found that out afterwards. He told her he was 18. And they had exchanged photographs: he sent her a photograph that showed the top part of his head, and a little bit of his eyes. He told her it was like that because he had a problem with his computer. She sent him a picture of herself and a friend.

"And then they arranged to meet. We were concerned, but we thought he'd probably be rather inept, someone who wasn't very good socially. We thought he'd be a rather immature 18-year-old.

"So, we were concerned about the meeting enough to go with her, but we also knew that if we said no, she'd probably just go anyway. We believe in being fairly open in our house - in negotiating, and not having too many rules, so she only ends up almost having to break them. With the proviso that at least one of us would be with her, we were prepared to let it go ahead.

"I took her and a friend down to meet him. She spoke to him on a mobile on the way. He then said that if I was there he would turn round and go back. We had a huge row, and in the end I said 'You can have a couple of minutes with him on your own while I go and park the car, then I'm coming.' We had quite a scene.

"I left her friend with her, but he'd also said that if her friend was there, he'd go, so she stayed watching from a distance. As I drove off to park the car, I saw this man - a clearly middle-aged man - talking on a mobile, and I knew it was him. I was shocked and thought 'What do I do?'. To make things worse, Georgie had my mobile phone, because her batteries had run out.

"I dashed back. They hadn't got together at that point, but I walked past him and I heard him say, 'Come out and show yourself.' Funnily enough, I didn't react right there and then - I think deep down I realised that this was something she had to learn for herself. I went back to watch them: they were talking for a minute or two, and then I thought 'I've got to go and do something about this.'

"Then my daughter saw me, came over, and said 'Will you go and speak to him?'. I went straight over with her. I was extremely nice to him: at that point, I thought he was just a very, very sad loser. I said, 'I'm her mum, as you can see, she's very lovely, we love her very much, and we've got to protect her.' He started claiming he was 18, and then he admitted he wasn't. At that point, he started to cry and he left.

"We contacted the police, and I phoned the NSPCC. They talked to Georgie through me, we spoke to them on the phone for two hours, and it was their very skilful questioning that elicited the whole picture. I think it took a while before Georgie could accept that he had very, very sinister motives. It took a few weeks for her to tell the police what had really been said.

"He was eventually charged with conspiracy to commit an act of gross indecency with a child under 14 and he was bailed until after the new year. But there was nothing on his computer that was incriminating, so the charge was dropped.

"Georgie hardly goes on chat rooms at all now, and she has her own rules: have a brief chat and then move on. People need to be aware that this happens. It's still early days here, but in America incidents like this are happening on a huge scale."

GEORGIE

"I was spending a lot of time in chat rooms. Hours every night. I was on a cheap internet service provider. I'd talk to people about things we had in common - pop groups or TV programmes. That was how it started with this man called Johnny: we started talking about a pop group we both liked. He saw me talking to somebody else, and then he sent me a private message. I started talking to him every night. I started feeling strongly about him quite quickly.

"At first he said he was 16. Then we broke up, and got back together, and he said the reason we broke up was that he was 18. He also said that he was from Hull. Then, when he told me he was 18, he also told me he was from Newcastle. I was relieved that we'd got back together again, and I'd always said that age doesn't really matter. I was upset that he'd lied, but people do in chat rooms.

"We spoke on the phone loads of times. We spoke about everything. Boy-girl stuff? Yes. He suggested that we meet. He said he wanted me to go to Newcastle. Mum and dad knew it was going on, but they knew I was sensible. I don't think were too happy, but they said the most important thing was that they knew where I was.

"When I told them we'd arranged to meet in Milton Keynes, they were OK about it at first. But my mum definitely didn't like the way that he didn't want to meet her. She didn't like that at all. He said that when we were talking on the way to meeting him, and in the end we decided that after five minutes I'd tell my mum if everything was okay. And he said he didn't want my friend to be there either, but she hid behind a big poster and watched what happened.

"When I saw him, I didn't know what to think, because I was shocked. I thought it was maybe his dad or something. I was scared as well. I spoke to him - he asked me how I was, and he kept asking me why I looked so shocked, and whether he wasn't what I expected. Then my mum came over and spoke to him. She told him to go.

"I was upset. Definitely. And at the time I felt really sorry for him, because my mum made him go and I still kind of loved him. I remember getting home and laughing about it, because I was so shocked, but then I got upset. I was crying about it. Then I realised what he'd done and how he'd lied to me and I felt really angry with him.

"I didn't want to tell the police at first, but then I decided that he'd done something wrong and he knew he'd done something wrong. I spoke to a policewoman, and she looked at all the e-mails. And I told them about what we'd said on the phone. That was hard. But my mum was really good. I think it's made us closer.

"I hardly go on chat rooms at all now. There's one friend I talk to on-line, but mostly I just use e-mails. And I wouldn't arrange to meet anybody, ever. You don't have to go on the internet to meet people."