Revealed: Beckham and Cooper are book prize judges

* For the first time, Pandora can exclusively reveal the panel of experts who will judge the year's most glamorous book awards: the Nibbies, or British Book Awards.

The chair of the judges, a position appointed for the first time this year by Publishing News, will be the novelist Jilly Cooper. Her fellow judges will include publishing luminaries such as Ion Trewin, Ed Victor, Beryl Bainbridge and, erm, David Beckham.

"I am incredibly honoured and touched," Cooper, above, tells me. "It's far more fun than the Booker. I'd like to be known as Madam Chairman. My role is to oversee the judging process and make sure nothing untoward happens."

The Nibbies are excitedly anticipated in the industry. Presented by Richard and Judy, previous ceremonies have seen a controversial speech by Hari Kunzru, Norman Wisdom trying to kiss Sarah Waters and Susannah Constantine admitting to having a bit of a crush on Iain Duncan Smith. But the identity of the judging academy has always remained a closely guarded secret.

Now, Pandora has been shown the list, which reads like a Who's Who of the publishing industry. Alan Bennett will have a vote, as will Canongate's maverick boss Jamie Byng. As a previous winner for his autobiography, Beckham is an honorary Fellow.

Jilly Cooper is already looking forward to the ceremony, in March. "It's terribly exciting," she tells me. "Last year we were all gazing at Jordan and Julian Fellowes. I can't wait."

* Raise a glass to Jose Mourinho. The charismatic Chelsea boss has found a new battleground - against screwtop wine bottles.

Mourinho who has brought a touch of unlikely sophistication to the football pitch, is to front a campaign for the Portuguese government and its national cork association, Apcor, to promote the bottle-stopper.

Mourinho's native Portugal is highly reliant on the cork industry, which has suffered from plastic alternatives and the screwtop bottle. "He was chosen because he's Portuguese, he's sophisticated and he appeals to the wine consumer," says a spokeswoman.

The campaign begins in March, but don't expect Mourinho to be sipping native wines at glitzy launches.

"We never met Mourinho," sniffs the campaign's spokeswoman. "We've dealt with his sports agent, his image agent and his personal agent, but weren't allowed near him. He hates having his photo taken.

"I think the photographer for the campaign was his personal photographer."

Now that's classy, Jose.

* Chris Eubank is disappointed to be named the second most eccentric person in the world. Not because he came second, but because, he insists, he is actually not eccentric at all.

The BBC's Homes and Antiques magazine poll put the lisping former pugilist behind Bjork but ahead of David Icke, Ozzy Osbourne and John McCririck.

But now Eubank, who styles himself "Christopher Livingstone Eubank, Lord of the Manor of Brighton" and who admits to having "a superhero complex", has instructed his management to send The Independent a statement.

"Mr Eubank would like to make clear that: 'I do not consider myself eccentric'," it reads. "Just because I have a sense of style, because I try to project dignity and have tried to earn the respect of my peers, that should not make me an eccentric."

It adds, graciously: "He is, however, very grateful to the British public for the accolade."

* Visitors to Lord Archer's flat used to be instructed, when asking to use the lavatory, to "go past the Picasso and turn left at the Matisse".

The disgraced peer's love of art continues in his latest novel, False impression, a thriller about owning a Van Gogh painting.

The novel is already drawing scorn from the critics, and now Archer is accused of altering the facts of history to suit his needs. The Art Newspaper points out in a review that Archer has massaged the dates of Van Gogh living with Paul Gauguin and the location of the second self-portrait with the bandaged ear.

A keen purchaser of art, Lord Archer is reputed to have tried to buy a Van Gogh at auction in 1990 - the novel mentions an auction for Reapers in the Field with the humble price of $27m (£15.3m). Archer was outbid. How different the directions to the lavatory could have been.

* High hats off to the MD of Sky Networks, Dawn Airey, who has just taken delivery of a belated Christmas present to herself: a brand new set of drums.

"My parents used to say, 'What instrument would you like to play? Flute? Piano? Violin...?'" she told Pandora. "And all I wanted was drums. They absolutely refused to give me a set. Now, 45 years on, it's a bit sad but I have finally got my drum kit."

Airey says she lives well out of earshot of sensitive folk and will ask a boy she knows in her village for lessons.

In due course, she hopes to rival the other famous media drummer, Richard Desmond. In the meantime, she says: "You can't beat sitting there and making a racket."

pandora@independent.co.uk