Jim grits his teeth as rural protesters plan a 'spectacular'
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Your support makes all the difference.* The House of Commons contains its fair share of poison chalices, but the ambitious Labour MP Jim Knight has just been landed with what can comfortably be described as the worst job in Government.
* The House of Commons contains its fair share of poison chalices, but the ambitious Labour MP Jim Knight has just been landed with what can comfortably be described as the worst job in Government.
Knight, pictured, who became Rural Affairs Minister after the general election, has been ordered to attend next month's CLA Game Fair at Belvoir Castle. He'll be the first Labour minister to show up at the event - the biggest in the rural calendar - since the hunting ban came into force.
Sources at Defra say that Knight is "terrified" at the prospect, but has been told that bridges must now be built with the hunting, shooting and fishing brigade. A variety of lobby groups are planning to welcome him with what (in protester-speak) is termed a "spectacular".
"Last year, all three of our ministers were 'too busy' to attend, so for first time in 20 years there was no representative at the Game Fair," I'm told. "Politically, that isn't possible this year, and Jim has drawn the short straw."
Previous form certainly suggests that - unless Knight finds an excuse pronto - it'll be a day to remember.
In 2003, Ben Bradshaw was accosted by a phalanx of women waving pink knickers and chanting "pants to your ban". He escaped by ducking under a tent flap and sprinting to a helicopter.
The previous year, rural campaigner Robin Page interrupted Alun Michael's press conference to describe him as a "fucking little political shit".
* Paulo Coelho visited London recently, to sneak a peep at the stage version of his bestselling novel The Alchemist. It won't be the last time the Brazilian literary star sees his book staged, either. For at the play's world premiere, at the Pleasance Theatre in Islington, Coelho told me a Broadway musical is also being planned.
A deal is currently being thrashed-out by his Spanish agents, Sant Jordi Associados, and an un-named New York producer. Quite how the tale - a parable involving several sheep - will be set to music is anyone's guess.
"Lots of large theatre companies have wanted to do this as a play before, but I turned them down until now, because I think it's important to give the chance to people with genuine enthusiasm," he said.
"However, I thought this play really managed to bring the book to life with intensity, but also with humour. There are now plans to for a Broadway musical, though it's very early stages yet."
* There is news of a "coup" for the British Film Industry. The eternally cheerful Samantha Morton calls from Heathrow to tell me that she's off to Las Vegas to collect a lifetime achievement at Dennis Hopper's Cinevegas Film Festival.
Since she's only just reached the tender age of 28, the Nottingham- born actress - Johnny Depp's co-star in The Libertine - says the gong's official title is to be a "half-lifetime achievement award".
"I'm flattered beyond belief, and hope my other half lifetime lives up to this one, otherwise I may have to give this back," she says.
"This will be my first time in Vegas, so I'll do my best not lose my house keys at poker after the ceremony."
* Catherine Tate is mortified by reaction to her article in last week's New Statesman, in which she admitted to being barely on speaking terms with her West End co-star, David Schwimmer.
In an attempt to pour cold water on the controversy that followed - Pandora's piece on the affair kick-started an avalanche of coverage - Tate calls to say she's been "misconstrued".
"Of course I like David," she says. "He's a very funny, personable man, and easy to get along with. I am a bit like a rabbit stuck in the headlights when I'm with him, but I don't think my article went too far. It's been misconstrued."
"It was meant to be a self-effacing account of how I've tried to be too cool in his company. If we'd really fallen-out, I wouldn't put it into print." Chicken!
* The Bitch is back! Joan Collins is re-uniting with her 1980s sparring-partner Linda Evans - Krystle to her Alexis in the super-soap Dynasty - for a Broadway revival of the James Kirkwood play Legends.
Since they'll portray two feuding film stars, and Collins and Evans were always said to rub each other up the wrong way, gossips see this as a case of life imitating art. But Joanie insists that quite the reverse is true.
"Linda and I don't have a feud," she said, at a fundraiser last week for the NSPCC. "That was something that was just cooked up by the media. We get along really well. In fact, we had a reading in the States the other day and it went very well indeed. She's going to be fantastic."
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