In America: When you run the show, you might as well take the credit

Whisper it not in old Europe, but red meat Republicans are looking wistfully at Dick Cheney for a White House run in 2008. The Veep won't have any of it - "I plan to be back with my grandkids four years from now, or fishing streams I have fished," he confided to an interviewer the other day.

Whisper it not in old Europe, but red meat Republicans are looking wistfully at Dick Cheney for a White House run in 2008. The Veep won't have any of it - "I plan to be back with my grandkids four years from now, or fishing streams I have fished," he confided to an interviewer the other day.

And why should a man who has done everything (including, many would say, being the real President for much of the Bush first term) and has a dodgy heart to boot, subject himself to the ordeal of a Presidential campaign?

But for conservatives, none of the other potential candidates are very appealing. Rudi Giuliani? Too liberal by half (the same goes for Arnold Schwarzenegger if, by some miracle, there was a constitutional amendment to let him on the ballot). John McCain? A bit of an unguided missile. Governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts? A pretty face. Senate Majority leader Bill Frist is a bit wet, and ditto Bush brother Jeb.

But Cheney, prime architect of the Iraq war, a friend of business who's never met a tax he doesn't want to cut, would be perfect. In short, why not put the power behind the throne on the throne?

* IS BEING a friend of Hillary Clinton the kiss of death for Republicans? Down Texas way, it may well be. Kay Bailey Hutchinson, Hillary's Republican colleague in the Senate, is said to be planning a challenge to her home state Republican governor Rick Perry, setting up a bloody primary battle next year.

But Perry has staged a pre-emptive strike of his own by circulating conservative activists in Texas with a video clip of Hillary and Kay giggling and hugging at a woman's event, with la Clinton confessing "my delight that Kay is my partner on so many important issues."

The Perry camp warns there's more to come. "We're being very aggressive in everything we do," says an aide. "You ain't seen nothing yet."

* IS NOTHING sacred? Pandora imagined that if one thing in life was beyond imitation, it was his favourite TV cop, New York's bald-headed, lollipop-licking Theo Kojak. The 1970s original was of course played by the late Telly Savalas, pictured, with magnificent disregard for political correctness and a beguiling habit of addressing a suspect as "sweetheart."

Alas Kojak is back in a new incarnation next month, this time as an African-American detective (who somehow still has the same Greek Polish name). No disrespect to Ving Rhames, who does a decent job in the role, despite an un-Kojak like habit of bursting into tears. But this is a remake too far.

* YES, IT'S Easter in the most Christian land on earth, but this may be a fragrance too far. A new scented candle is sweeping South Dakota, if not yet Jerusalem. It's called "His Essence", with a flowery-cinnamon smell derived from a combination of oils.

The candle, says Karen Tosterud, one of the makers, is inspired by the 45th psalm "referring to when Christ returns, in garments having the scent of myrrh, aloe and cassia." Christ, she explains, cannot be seen and cannot be touched. "This is a situation where you may be able to sense him by smelling. It provides a really new dimension to one's experience with Jesus."

Seems like a lot of South Dakotans agree. The residents of the plains state snapped up 10,000 candles at Christmas alone.

* There is truly no escape from politicians. John Edwards, the failed Democratic vice-Presidential candidate in 2004, has found a new way to disseminate his message - the podcast. Go to Edwards' website and you find a 25-minute recording of the voice of John delivering the thoughts of John, on a host of subjects from the current college basketball playoffs to his wife Elizabeth's breast cancer to President Bush's dastardly plans for Social Security reform. Two things are now certain. Other pols will follow suit, and Edwards is bent on a 2008 White House bid.

pandora@independent.co.uk