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Your support makes all the difference.Two weeks shy of Royal Ascot, there is news of a bizarre addition to the BBC's crack team of commentators.
Kate Silverton, the "auto-cutie" whose dodgy dress sense has inspired as many column inches as her news-reading, is to be given the prestigious job of fashion reporter at this year's Royal meeting.
It's a strange call, since the role usually goes to someone with a weighty reputation in fashion circles. Previous pundits have ranged from Jeff Banks to Susannah Constantine and Trinny Woodall.
Silverton, however, has an undistinguished sartorial record. This month, she was forced to apologise to viewers of BBC Breakfast for wearing a green and yellow psychedelic blouse, with matching scarf.
"My blouse has divided opinion," she admitted. "Apologies if it has made you turn down the contrast on your set. I do apologise to those of you that hate it."
Meanwhile, in further disregard of Ascot convention, I gather that Silverton's co-hosts will include at least one footballer's wife.
"Kate will be the head fashion reporter, but Jodie Kidd will be featuring for a couple of days and Jamie and Louise Redknapp will be also be doing things as well," said the BBC yesterday.
One can but wonder what Silverton's former co-presenter Philip Hayter will make of it. He resigned from the Beeb in September, after 37 years, claiming to be "incompatible" with the striking blonde.
Bedroom secret of 'Mirror' chief
Sly Bailey - Fleet Street power-broker, and chief executive of Trinity Mirror - has suffered a serious invasion of privacy.
Galley slaves at Bailey's flagship red-top have discovered that her Limehouse flat is up for sale, for £1.25m. This afforded one mischievous hack the opportunity to arrange a viewing.
"The interior decoration is, frankly, extraordinary," he says. "Even funnier is the fact that hanging on the wall of the master bedroom is an enormous photo of Sly, completely naked.
"She's covering her femininity with both arms and hands. Even so, I won't be able to look her in the eye again."
Knight Frank's internet site offers nosey parkers a virtual tour of the "stunning" (if eccentrically decorated) four-bed riverside townhouse, in Blyth's Wharf.
The agent yesterday confirmed that the property belonged to Bailey; apparently, it's now "under offer".
Daddy of all biographies
Matt O'Connor, founder of the pressure group Fathers4Justice, is looking forward to life after Batman.
He has been signed up by the top literary agents Curtis Brown, who are about to invite bids from publishers interested in the O'Connor life story.
"I'm hoping to launch it some time around Father's Day next year," he said at Will Self's recent book launch. "It'll be very much in the style of Gordon Ramsay or Jeremy Clarkson, but with Tourette's."
News of the project comes four months after Harbour Pictures, the production firm behind Calendar Girls, bought the film rights to O'Connor's life story.
Publishers are, at present, being presented with two working titles for the book: Mixed Nuts, and Who's the Daddy.
Unpaid bill
Thanks to Alan Bennett, British theatre is the toast of Broadway, having waltzed off with six gongs at the Tony awards.
Back home, not everyone is sharing in the spoils, though. One of our most distinguished theatre directors, Bill Bryden, has been declared bankrupt.
The news, announced at the High Court on Friday, came as a surprise to friends and colleagues, who had no idea that Bryden, 64, was in financial trouble.
"Bill's got a fantastic CV," says one. "He's won the CBE, lifted several major awards, and ran some of our most important theatres. He was also head of drama at BBC Scotland for almost a decade. It's a shame, but things haven't been rosy of late."
Indeed. Bryden's most recent foray into the West End - The Creeper, starring Ian Richardson - closed early last March (after just a month) following universally critical reviews.
Rooney's latest bird
Cynics say that on current form Monty Python's dead parrot has more chance of lifting the World Cup than England's lacklustre football team.
Splendid, then, to discover that Coleen McLoughlin's brother, Anthony, is training an African grey parrot to support our boys.
This minor "scoop" will be revealed to readers of McLoughlin's column in Closer magazine this week. Apparently, the bird is now capable of squawking the phrase: "Rooney ... Goal!"
"The parrot, who's called Bob, has been crossing his claws for Wayne," says the future Mrs Rooney. I wonder if he's got a Scouse accent.
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