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Kid Cudi checks himself into rehab over depression and suicidal urges

'My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it,' the rapper says

Maya Oppenheim
Wednesday 05 October 2016 04:20 EDT
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The musician, whose real name is Scott Mescudi, explains he felt 'ashamed' by his problems
The musician, whose real name is Scott Mescudi, explains he felt 'ashamed' by his problems (Getty Images)

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Kid Cudi has checked himself into a treatment facility for depression and suicidal urges.

In an intimate message penned to fans on Tuesday night, the 32-year-old US rapper explained he was “not at peace” and described how anxiety and depression had begun to rule his life, often leaving him unable to leave the house.

The musician, whose real name is Scott Mescudi, said he felt “ashamed” by his problems and like he was living a lie. He said his anxiety meant he struggled to make new friends and trust people.

Kid Cudi, who rose to fame for his 2008 mixtape A Kid Named Kudi and single ‘Day ’n’ Nite’, said he planned to focus on his recovery. The Grammy-award-winning hopes to be back on stage for the ComplexCon festival at the beginning of November in Long Beach, California

“It’s been difficult for me to find the words to what I'm about to share with you because I feel ashamed,” Cudi’s letter shared on his Facebook read. “Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I've been living a lie.”

“Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges. I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me. If I didn't come here, I would’ve done something to myself.”

Cudi said he struggled to relax and did not know what peace felt like, feeling in a perpetual state of unease. “My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I can't make new friends because of it. I don't trust anyone because of it and I'm tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace.”

Cudi said his unhappiness might stem from the fact he had spent so much of his life giving himself to others that he had neglected himself.

This is not the first time Cudi has been vocal about his mental health problems. In 2013, he spoke about his struggles with depression and drug use. In turn, he has been widely commended for speaking out about mental health issues in and beyond the hip-hop community - where the stigma surrounding mental health problems remains.

Born in Cleveland, the Brooklyn-based rapper has released five albums as a solo artist and has also worked with numerous artists in the music industry, such as Jay Z, Mary J. Blige, David Guetta, MGMT, Snoop Dogg and Shakira.

Further information about depression is available at www.rethink.org and via the Rethink Mental Illness Advice and Information phone line on 0121 522 7007

Anyone in need of confidential support and advice can contact the Samaritans for free, 24/7, on 116 123 or email: jo@samaritans.org

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