Eight times Donald Trump proved he is not a real person

Arriving in Scotland, his helicopter gently settling down on the famous lawns of Turnberry as he emerged with his cap reading "Make America Great Again" while bellowing about Obama, Putin, migrants and fences; the world of Donald Trump right now feels about as real as his hair.

Is Donald Trump, a businessman more known for firing celebrities in The Apprentice than his political acumen, filming his own version of Joaquin Phoenix's I'm Still Here? Or perhaps "The Donald" is playing a political Playing It Straight where he is pretending to be a serious candidate until someone outs him as a fraud.

In the meantime, as Mr Trump prepares for the first debate among the Republican presidential candidates, The Independent has compiled a list of the eight quotes that prove that even if Mr Trump really does think he has a shot at the White House, he cannot seriously be a real person:

1. He posited the question, "Who's doing all the raping?"

While Mr Trump's most controversial moment of the campaign (so far, there's no doubt he'll trump this one some time soon) came when he accused Mexican illegal immigrants of being criminals and rapists, his response when questioned on the matter was just as unreal.

With Trump citing various articles to back his statement up, CNN's Don Lemon said he had read the articles and that they only addressed Mexican women who were the victims of rape, not that Mexicans were the ones raping people. "Somebody's doing the raping! Who's doing the raping?" was Mr Trump's response.

2. On a woman wanting to pump milk: 'She wanted to pump in front of me!'

The New York Times found testimony from one of Mr Trump's lawsuits where the real estate mogul got angry at a lawyer, Elizabeth Beck, for asking to take a medical break to pump milk for her three-month-old daughter. According to court documents, he said, "You’re disgusting," and promptly walked out.

When Mr Trump was asked about why it was disgusting of Ms Beck to ask for a break by CNN, Mr Trump seemed utterly clueless as to what the main issue was. In a tone of horror, he cried, "She wanted to pump in front of me," before adding that, "We beat her soundly. She’s got a terrible reputation, bottom line is, I beat her." That's not the point, Donald.

3. He is completely deluded about who cares about him

Most Scots are either worrying about their day-to-day lives or wondering when they can break away from the Conservatives in England. Yet Mr Trump thinks they really care about him, want him to buy up all their golf courses and promote greater unity with the USA. When asked whether his celebrity appearance might detract from the golf tournament, he said, "Everyone's asked me to be here: the Tour’s asked me to be here, the world has asked me to be here." The world? Really, Donald?

4. He thinks he'd get on very well with Mr Putin

While in Scotland, Mr Trump also said: "I think I'd get along very well with Vladimir Putin. I just think so. People say 'What do you mean?' I just think I'd get along well with him."

In the same breadth he also argued that Hillary Clinton had blown the world apart while she was Secretary of State and that President Obama was incompetent. Mr Trump fails to realise that Mr Putin's hatred of NATO, the US and the West will take more than just a few friendly rounds of golf on one of his Scottish courses: world diplomacy is a more delicate affair. Even Angela Merkel, who speaks Russian and is close to Mr Putin, cannot rein in the Russian leader's expansionist foreign policy.

5. In fact, he thinks he's friends with everyone

Seth Myers said it best when at a White House Correspondents' Dinner he quipped, "Donald Trump said recently he has a great relationship with the blacks. Though unless the Blacks are a family of white people, I bet he’s mistaken." Even his comments about illegal Mexican immigrants make him think he's still friends with Hispanics. He argued that he is ahead with the Spanish community among his rivals, citing a poll by Public Policy Polling (PPP).

Of course, PPP quickly explained that Mr Trump trails Ms Clinton, the Democratic front-runner, by 28 per cent to 61 percent.

6. He mindlessly retweets murderers

Hulk Hogan is also at fault for this, but arguably he will always remain something of a fictitious character in most minds given that he is a wrestler and the whole world of wrestling is fake.

Yet Mr Trump was tricked into retweeting an image of British serial killers Fred and Rose West. The twitter user had said the image was of his parents and asked Mr Trump to "RT for their memory." Mr Trump later said that the episode taught him "not be nice or trusting." No, Donald. You should always be nice and trusting. The episode teaches you to be careful about what images you tweet and to also be mindful of the kind of people on Twitter.

7. He sues everyone

Donald likes to think he's a man of the people; yeah, most men have been married multiple times and been declared bankrupt four times. Yet more than that, most people don't instantly just sue anyone who displeases them: they put it to one side or argue their case. Mr Trump, however, not only threatened to sue the Twitter user who made him retweet the image of Fred and Rose West, he is also suing Univision for dropping the Miss USA pageant after his comments about illegal immigrants.

8. He won't fire an aide who said 'you can't rape your spouse'

Mr Trump is known for saying some pretty controversial things - or, as he describes it, "I will say what I want to say." Yet he was blameless when his lawyer and spokesperson, Michael Cohen, spoke about allegations from the 1980s that Mr Trump raped his then wife, Ivana.

Mr Cohen said, "You’re talking about the front-runner for the GOP, presidential candidate, as well as private individual who never raped anybody. And, of course, understand that by the very definition, you can’t rape your spouse."

While Mr Trump has distanced himself from the statement, he bizarrely hasn't completely cut off ties with Mr Cohen. Surely, a sane individual - especially a presidential candidate - would sack his spokesperson and lawyer after such shocking behaviour.